Gay culture rewards visibility, desirability, and dominance, so a lot of what looks like confidence is actually performance under pressure. In this episode, we unpack the myths of self-confidence gay men inherit and what real confidence looks like when no one’s watching.In this conversation, we explore:What traits often get mistaken for confidence in gay cultureHow social media amplifies performative confidence and quietly fuels insecurityWhy confidence built on validation, desirability, or status is inherently fragileHow childhood experiences and early coping strategies shape what confidence feels safe to expressThe difference between looking confident and being confidentWhy real confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity and why it naturally shifts over timeThis episode isn’t about fixing yourself or learning how to project confidence. It’s about understanding why the version you were taught to chase often feels exhausting, and what a quieter, more grounded confidence actually looks like in real life.Today's Hosts:Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenMatt LandsiedelReno JohnstonSupport the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes- CONNECT WITH US -Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com- LEARN WITH US -Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a fr...