Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper
Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood
Joy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy
40 minutes Posted Oct 23, 2025 at 11:00 am.
Gay Men Going Deep: How and Why We Sabotage Our
Happy Life: Chasing Joy
Why Joy Is Hard
What is the biggest joy killer for you?
How To Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
Learning How to Deal With Criticism
Inside the Inner Critic
The Joy of the Game Men's Brotherhood
The 'Foreboding Joy' of Love
"Be Joy in Your 40s!"
How To Deal With The 'Other shoe To Drop'
How To Find Security and Stability Attractive
Healing Your Shame
What Are We Protecting From Joy?
Adam Levine on Being Vulnerable With People
"I Love You"
Beyond Fear: How to Love Yourself
Thank You!
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Show notes
Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well.
We explore:
The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy
Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present.
How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss 
The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm’s length.
What we’re really trying to protect ourselves from when we don’t let joy all the way in.
By the end, you’ll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
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