Show notes
For better or worse, one thing that comes with all the faith deconstruction going on these days is that a lot of people are leaving or changing the church they attend. Nathan has some great advice for those leaving, those who are left, and the leaders of churches. Wherever you fall on that list, this episode is for you. Intro - Nathan’s an enneagram 5, which gives him the superpower of reading in the dark??Nobody's sure how to feel about it snowing in AprilSteve is un-cleaning his officeWe need butlersLeaving a Church - Listener requested topic: Leaving a churchSteve never got dumpedNathan got dumped a lot by one person - then he married herBreaking-up variants: The fizzle, ghostingBreakup advice: It’s better to be honest than avoid awkwardnessGive them space and don’t text them at 2 amGive yourself time to acknowledge what you’re going throughDon’t jump in to something newDon’t bring your past with youDon’t isolate yourself; depend on communityIt’s a good time to learn about yourself There are “socially acceptable” times to leave because they’re not “personal”Nathan’s Vocabulary“Church” = local congregation“Kingdom” = where God reigns“Kingdom Community” = group of people with a kingdom connection to each otherThe Kingdom is much much bigger than a churchLord’s Prayer: “…Your kingdom come…” Matthew The Leavers - Important to find community of some kindLook forward more than backwardVindication and validation will likely not comeJonahIt’s important to go through the grieving processBut try not to stay there - move forward, look forwardRemember when YOU were there when someone else leftThere’s a lot of fear around leavingIf you move you get a cakeThe Left - People who are left at the congregationIt’s easy to rationalize by “they fell away”It’s all tied to identitySteve’s dream: People can go to another congregation and still have love and connection with the people at the previous placeNathan’s dream: When someone leaves, we should think, “Wow, I wonder what God is doing in their lives!”It doesn’t have to be an us vs them situationAssume positive intentJust listen to what they have to sayBe friends with who you were friends withDon’t excommunicate because you’re mad“…go talk to them…” Matthew Jesus spent most of his time with those outside his kingdomPay attention to their FRUIT, not just where they go on a Sunday“We’re not called to be faithful members, we’re called to be faithful followers. Showing up is not what we’re called to do” -NathanThe Leaders - When people leave, it’s a hard time for church leaders to be Christ-likeGut reactions are dangerous When Jesus shows up to places, people flock to him“…whoever is not against us is for us.” Mark 9:38-41 Concealing sin and abuse is NEVER okayConcealing abuse is never for the greater goodWe should all try to learn from the situationArticle: “Losing Our Religion” by Russel MooreTwitter: @followingthfireBeware the rebound churchSend us your leaving stories (good or bad) to [email protected] Join our Patreon - we'd love your support and we have some fantastic patron perks!Support Following the Fire
