Valentine's Day is here again, and we're here to ask why unicorns have such weird, puritanical standards. Your standards are too high, unicorns! Not everyone's perfect, you're almost thirty, and you've never been in a stable relationship for more than a few months! You are not proving your mother right by making yourself emotionally unavailable. In fact, you actually get that tendency from her,... unicorns. This was about unicorns the whole time. Totally.

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