Show notes
"How Society affects teenagers today" by Balraj Purewal #26Tagline: "These are the broken pieces of the puzzle that you still end up piecing together.."Life has moved on so quickly and within the space of a generation our world is now seen through a phone, almost 24/7. In fact I can't recall the last time I went out myself and didn't snap, Instagram or Facebook a status update.But for the youth of today they experience larger problems and issues, such as seeking external validation, comparison amongst peers and so often finding themselves missing the beauty of the presence.It is with this I decided to interview a teenager to show us, and give us a first insight into the life of a teen today. He explains very eloquently the struggles, the good the bad and the types of challenges he is presented with daily, amongst other teens.He is a poet at a heart, currently studying at my favourite university (no bias), whilst trying to figure out where he fits in the world amongst figuring out the intent of other people.We speak about many things in this episode that I really enjoyed recording such as:IntentImportance of internal validationBeing true to yourselfFinding your voiceWorking hardUsing social media for what it is todayA guy who is wise beyond his years and someone I believe will go on and achieve his dreams in the world today, I urge you all to show him some support and follow his journey below:P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_b.purewal/ (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/word___art/ (Poetry)Snapchat: B.purewalHave an awesome day & #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcription:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of this show so today I'm gonna bebringing you our youngest ever guest onthe show now I was a little bitskeptical if I'm completely honest ofhaving somebody so young coming out to ashow like find your voice because findyour voice generally speaking it'speople who have gone through adversitygone through obstacles and problems andthen all of a sudden I sat back and Ithought hold on a second this is theexact kind of person we need on thisshow because I'm sitting here and almostmaking this judgment which is againshowing something that I need to beaware of and learn from that peoplegoing through their teenagers and goinginto transition into adulthoodhaven't got a voice and that's not whatI wanted the show to be about so anywayI'm gonna be completely honest he overdelivered in fact he was the star ofthis show and I'm very grateful that heshared his experience because there's somany things he mentioned in this episodethat made me kind of think back to howeasy I suppose my life was growingthrough that transition and many of uslistening to this because I checked thedemographics are a lot older thanbarrages and we never had to go throughthe social media constraints and theproblems and that external validationthat these children and teenagers aregoing through today so it's a very verygood episode in terms of one for anyonewho's going through this transition areyou the teenagers who are hopefullytrying to get to listen to this show toinspire and motivatebut more importantly it's just asimportant for us slightly older peoplewho maybe forgot what it was like growno to hear somebody's perspective or howdifferent life is so we talked a lotabout intent we talked about the typesof people that you come across in lifebut we also talk about some stuff thatjust really blew my mind that I wastalking to a teenager especially when Ithink back to what I was like growing upbecause I was not this emotionally awaythat I was just figuring it out and itgained that last bit there figuring itout is something that we go on to talkabout quite a bit in this episodebecause irrespective of where you are inthis journey in this wonderful thingcalled life we're always just trying tofigure it out so hopefully you find thisuseful especially towards the end of theshow because his last two answers wereincredible and they were very poetic andthen I happen to realize that he has apoetry account on Instagram which kindof made sense so a kid with a hugefuture ahead of him I'm very gratefulthat I've managed to tap into theyounger demographics as well I'm verygrateful for Barrett this time and Ihope you all really enjoy this episodeso without further ado let's jump intoit okay people I just like to start thisshow by welcoming bowrage to the showand thanking all the listeners fortuning in today how you doing today myfriend yeah I'm not too bad not too badOh better runs well thanks I let me comeon the show oh you're very welcome myfriend so I think to start this show Ithink it's really important that thelisteners get to know you a little bitso if you would have mind if you canjust kind of give us a briefintroduction into the life of Berridgeplease yeah well so obviously I went toaround four primary schools alreadyremember too much about it if I'm honestI mean I'm the whole guys created forone but then as I went along we movedhouse quite a bit went to one schoolthat was pretty racist I was like whatlike the third brown person there so itwas like I was getting called like the Pword most of the time and I was likewhat the hell's going on so being quiteyoung in primary school didn't reallyenjoy primary school too much becausealways like an outsider don't know if itwas because I was moving so much ormaybe I just wasn't people's kind ofguided which is not a problem and then Idon't know what just literally got intohigh school and then I was like well Idon't want that happening again it's notsomething one happening teenage hormonesare last like kicking in you know thatwas ragingdifferent kind of world with high schoolyou thinking what's going on here I'velearnedreally from lucky s7 I mean if if I'mhonest when I was in the s7 array I wasbit of know a kid or what Liars used toend up in isolation call hi a lot I'mnot sure well I am sure why but I feellike the school was quite strict as wellso any little minor thing I did wouldbasically be picked up on which is not abad thing I guess it took me to maturemuch quicker and this just kind oflasted to around year 10 I was like wellit ain't about who's got the biggest thebiggest this the biggest bat who can dothis who can do that because the realitydoesn't make any difference at all it'sjust you can crack on with themselvesand look after themselves and then whenI got to about year 11it just kind of semi just came out of myshell bit more because you know kind ofa person that it loves to talk to peopleI'm not sure why always been my thingyou knoweven now this like being on the podcastI read messaging you know I just lovetalking to peoplestead of me being stuck to my fault I'mwell I just beat somebody okay I canintake this knowledge from you how can Iapply this to my life oh you can do itlike this so like Erin you may say to meI'll do it this way and I may not evensing this other perspective because Imaybe so maybe I don't know deleted withmy own which is better for me to realizeobviously social media you know thephones are great but sometimes a lot ofpeople just end up stuck to it evenmyself at times well of course yeah butit was weird because in s7 like good onwords high school wise I always thoughtto myself I am I'm not fitting in itdoesn't make any sense why can I not dowhat they're doing why can I not do whatthe older people I did not realize and Ishould have enjoyed it more in themoment so I was okay cool that's not aproblem and then as soon as I started tocome up my shell but yeah 11 time youknow starts being two more people it waslike a lot more people were coming to mecame to six form where it was prettymuch the biggest change definitely fullycame out my child say I'm you know notin a cocky way oh I'd say I'm quitetalkative bubbly loving and caringperson mm-hmm so I guess it's kind ofcame with some baggage as well because Icouldn't even realize with somebody thatwas trying to maybe mess me around infront of my faceI want to realize because I think theyhave the same heart as me hmm so Iwouldn't even realize anything like thatand then obviously you know that youlive and learn obviously as you growingup and I think for teenagers now it'shard because everybody's trying tosorry for the language but fuck eachother over unless they're really genuinebecause they're like oh I have this ormy dad's got this my mom's got this whatdoes yours has what does your has yourshave I've got this PlayStation you don'thave it oh you don't have it why not oryou know just the little - things whichis you know it's no part of generalgoing on but I guess you don't realizethat until you actually do start to growup and like me going up into a man nobit of an awkward age at the moment 19kind of in the middle teenager turnedinto a young actual man now if you knowme like 18 years the normal designatedage anyways for when they say you were ayoung adult voice you're still in thatin between mm-hm if you know what I meanand then yeah like obviously then I wentto uni as well so just finished my firstyear basically thought I'd stay outfirst year get a bit more independenceand you know again actual experience oflike the halls or whatever like you knowhow everybody hyped up or whatever andit was great experience met some amazingpeople really amazing people some peoplewith some really good hearts but youmeet some give me some weird ones aswell it's really weird people you knowsome people may just want to use andabuse some people actually may want tohang around with you or some people justwant to distract you so you've just gotto make sure that you stay true toyourself and keep with a good heart atall timesso it seems that until at leastUniversity you were trying to one figureout who you are but to also figure outhow people are and I suppose especiallywith the last one it doesn't reallychange I mean I'm a little bit olderthan you but I still go through thatsituation where I'm still trying tofigure out why people are the way theyare or why certain people don't act theways for instance that I act so I willalways go in with good intentions andthen all of a sudden you'll realise thatother people's intent isn't necessarilythe same as yourself so I suppose apiece of advice having gone through thatprobably a little bit more than yourselfis just try and at least be wary ofpeople's intent because some peoplemight come across as almost like thegreatest people that you've ever seenbut then you will find later on oncethey get what they need to extract fromyou as a person you'll find they'll kindof disappear so that's just kind of likea piece of advice but you touched onsome prevalent things that I candefinitelythink about when I was a kid soespecially in the Punjabi culture thewhole drinking and how much can youdrink it's a purely ego thing 100% Ifell into that I fell into almostdamaging my health at the fact of I needto keep up with people when I drinkwhere is now I'd like to think of myselfas slightly more matured if I don'tfancy a drink I would just say that'senough for me and I'll kind of walk awayfrom it but again it's a learning lessona few points I've just made not of aswell that I want to just touch on so youwere always a naughty kid and you'realways I mean you've got yourselfexcluded for trying to bite somebody'snose but then all of a sudden thingsstarted to change and you said somethingwhich I thought was quite important andit was you opened up and the moment youstarted to open up you felt people startto gravitate towards you more I justwant this in relation to that then wasthat a sort of force thing or was thatjust you thinking okay there's no pointme just being this shy person when Ihave so much more to show to the worldobviously I was looking at other peoplethinking how are they doing this why somany people coming to them I'm just youknow I'm worrying too much about otherpeople now you know I actually need tolisten unlike for me and I've alwaysbeen quite open anyways quite if I wantsomething or if I want a fun one andknow something or I want to saysomethingI will say because I just get that offmy parents as well because if they wantto say something they'll just say theydon't they don't be around the bush Idon't see the point either because thenyou're just passing around make it morefuss than need to be so then literally Ijust try to be myself and I was likeokay this about in the year 11 more insix form was around a lot of people arecoming to me and I was like okay this isa bit weird I don't really know how tohandle this and what I found was it justcame with a lot of baggage as wellbecause a lot of people were coming tome but I was like even me me being adumb ass at times I want to realize thatsome people are just there to use me forpopularity or whatever it was and it'sokay though because like I learned fromit like it made me learn that somepeople like you you don't need to hangaround with these people all the timeyou don't need to hang around with apopular crowd it just doesn't make adifference we should be working towardsbetter in the world absolutely I thinkthat's a valid point and just on thatbasis you just reminded me of somethingthat you said earlier as well so yousaid initially obviously you find itdifficult to fit in and then you saidwhich isa problem like literally straight afterand I thought I was that was quite aclever point that you made plus it alsoshows your intelligence that you'rethinking a lot differently because atthat age it is all about fitting in itis all about being the coolest kid onthe block getting the most likes onInstagram and being that that kind ofperson what I want to ask you is whenyou start to be yourself and things weremore positive and obviously you know isthis and you've just explained it do youknow why you wasn't yourself prior tothat I just think are always quite sincesince being young I've always been quiteobservant a bit more like bit or notalways been an awful thinker I'm notsure why I just I've always thought thatI need to be doing more than I need thenI am or I need to be doing pair but youcan't be because like that's that'swhere I got to university now and I'veonly just realized now that you can't beperfect in everything you do and mebeing like a lot of perfectionist when Iwas in school you know I was about toget the best grades etc you know GCSEwas okay you know six form I did quitewell and I just thought you could beperfect but as a human you just can't beperfect so then I started to realizejust be myself I'm always gonna have myflaws as everybody else will have thefloors it just depends who wants to staywith you and still accept your flaws andaccept you you want 100 percent I thinkyou just hit the nail on the head thereas humans you can't be perfect there isno such thing as perfect and this is oneof the things that I suppose even when Istarted this podcast it was to showpeople look I'm just a shy person I'm ananxious person even in this conversationwith yourself on making mistakes um forgetting my words and stuff as well andsometimes it's about embracing yourvulnerabilities your weaknesses and thennext time just trying to be a little bitbetter so I think that's a very goodlesson for anyone in your situation andjust I'm gonna finish it actually onanother thing that you mentioned as wellwhich was when you said in relation tohow people may not have the same intentas you is that it's okay you learn fromit and it sounds easier in hindsight butI think if we can all take ourexperiences your life not not as apersonal attack but more as a sort oflearning experience I think it helpsyour mental sanity a lot more so I'vehad people for example where a similarsituation to yourself where I'm thinkingwhy hasn't that worked out or why is theperson acting in this way that you knowa normal person wouldn't think isethicalor the right way and rather thandwelling on that and then thinking I'mnot worthy of receiving a good person inmy life what I do is I take that as alesson and I think okay fair enough thatperson's got what they wanted out ofthis relationship but next time I'llhave more experience and I'll be wiserfrom it and if a similar type of personcomes along I will know to move on awayfrom that situation if that makes senseyeah like even what I said like it'slike even whoever is it can only be alesson a blessing or like you know likethey're there for life whether it's afriend or a family memberabsolutely absolutely so we've touchedon University and how you've developedin terms of one trying to find outexactly who you are you feel a lot morecomfortable now in the way that you areyou've slid into my DMS you happilyspeak into other people I think that's agreat way that we should be in the worldespecially coming from a very shy personI wish I had the confidence just to kindof put my hand out or just smile atpeople openly in the world because eventhrough my very short experience on thispodcast I've met some incredible peopleand I realize that I'm at my happiestwhen I'm connecting with people and whenI'm getting on with people so I thinkit's fantastic that you're doing that atsuch a young age what have you donesince University or what are you lookingto now achieve moving forward in lifemoving forward obviously on your firstyear Aston University doing businessmanagement great unique kind of thetypical thing probably I'd be void yes Iwant IT typical thing but all in allfrom young always like I'm just alwayswanting to be self-employed it's notthat like okay it's decent working forpeople if they give you decent benefitsbut what I find is that if you cancontrol your own destiny and you canbuild what you want to build him it maynot be something that you know now likeeven me I'm still like what do I dodo I go this way do I go that way it'sstill not no but I guess there's stilltime to figure it out it's not like lifeis short but it's also long as well andyou know there is some days but you'llbe lazy and there's some days where youjust don't have a clue what you do butit's like pretty much everybody's fakingit until they can make it basically intheir own ways which is not a bad thinghow can everybody know what's going onreally because then really trying tofigure themselves out figure where theirfoundations are in the world for me Iwant to build my sample the best I canbemy parents have allowed me to have a lotof freedom and it's right like evenpeople come up to mewhyyou moment that's all like cool withyou what like that my dad is my dadhe'll know when to tell me like straightto the pointbut he'll even have a conversation withme like we're like best friends wish Ilook and the same thing I can do with mymama's also you know I'm glad that hadparents like that got two lovely sistersas well you know they're growing up nowyou don't even realize how much they'regrowing up until you actually see themyou thinking that how did you get tallerit's all a crazy one even myself I lookin the mirror I think where did thisbeard come from I always wanted to be atthis person's got a beard why can I haveone but they just comes in your own timeas everything does absolutely unlike formyself you know I think for the Barrettbarrage I am today like I would say formyself I'm a loving caring humble butmore selective person based on theexperience that I've already had becauselife is already hard as it is life'salready the responsibility is gonnastart ended up piling up anyways sothere's no point it would be negativeyou could have just got to try be aspositive as possible absolutely I thinkthat's really well said and thisactually helped me massively my mindsetand hopefully can help the listeners aswell is the moment I realize that everysingle person is just figuring it outand regardless of their externalappearance or how they seem to have itall together and realize it actuallythey don't and just like you just likeme just like the person listen to thiswe're all just figuring it outnobody's give us the perfect blueprintfor life I don't believe that one existsyeah I think it's brilliant that youknow that on 19 because at 19 I was Ithink I was starting you need do myfirst qualification and I had no ideawhat I was doing I didn't know what Iwanted to become the kind of person Iwant you to be remembered forI was not aligning anything with myvalues on my ethics and this issomething that obviously you're nowgoing through that journey and everyonearound your age is gonna actually gothrough but I think if you can all justtake one lesson away and just know thatyou don't have to have it all figuredout in fact I'm now under a little bitolder where I'm still trying to figureout what am I going to be doing in thenext five years in ten years and whathappens is as we start to grow as peoplethrough our own personal development ourawarenessbe more selective which I thought was abrilliant thing that you pointed out aswell then you're automatically findyourself moving towards things that youlove andyour passion projects hence my podcasthere so I said brilliant and today likeI said you're a lot wiser than I was atyour age hopefully thank you hopefullyyou continue so I was going to ask youabout your routine but I'm prettycertain I know how most uni studentslive their life at uni so here's andthere's nothing wrong with that becauseit's all it's all part and parcel of thejourney I mean my university meeting wasliterally vodka kabobs hangover andwhatever whatever I could find on TV soexactly so I'm not gonna embarrass youabout that but I want to move on tosomething that might be able to givesomebody again some value from thisinterview is about adversity so if youcan think of maybe like a time and Iknow you're still young yet but I stillbelieve that we become the kind ofpeople we are because of the lessons ofthe journeys that we go through so ifyou could think of a lesson of adversityor a problem that you face and then moreimportantly once you've shared that ifyou could just tell us what you learnedfrom it can i this question if I - okaybecause I think what I found has givenme the biggest shock this year isholding on to people okay you knowhaving expectations of people because ittold me a lot this year because you knowyou know how it is lobbying a young ladyou think these are my boys man theseare doing it all I'm gonna do it as wellyou know and it will work in the samecycle and don't get me wrong it's allgood to have your friends your boyswhatever you want to call them but youhave to realize when your energy is notbeing valued or serving you and somebodyif they're not going to value it becausea lot of people are just there to prettymuch just take the mick and they'dalready care what's going on your lifethey just won't know because if youaren't doing better than them thinkingwhy can't I do that myself as well thatyou know again not in an arrogant wayare all like you know I'm friends withgirls I don't see them like anydifferent 2ml you know we're human atthe end of the day and a fun you knowsometimes you know it may sound bad tosay as well you know more for genderequality and stuff but sometimes girlsare just a bit more sensible with theirthinking you're a feeso whereas lads will just be like wellwe'll be looking at each other what doyou want to do your should we have adrink shall we do this mainly it justdepends on the crowd that you surroundyourself with so once you find thatright crowd that's when it will be allgood and well but it's just fine in thatright crowd and finding who you to stayaway from here to stay with you know Iseek quite a lot of validation fromothers as wellwell all in all I don't need to worryabout if it's good for myself and when Ilook back at it now it was good it wasgreat every single timeand if I didn't look at other people allthe time then you know I would havestarted to appreciate myself a lotearlier but now I'm glad that I'm snowyoung and still learning now learningnow that I only need to worry about ifit looks good for me and not anybodyelse because you're the only one thatyou have in this world you know you haveyour family that you keep close friendsyou you know friends are the family thatyou choose and you know y'all needed tocare what you think of yourself as awhole and a fair for you that you canreally trust and that's the bottom linereally for me absolutely Matt I thinkthat's a brilliant point that you justmade there and I think some of the stuffthat you're explaining now isn't stuffthat I believed that we had to gothrough especially my generation or thegenerations older than myself becausethe whole getting validation from yourpeers or getting validation from socialmedia it's become a massive massiveproblem in societyand you also touched on a very goodpoint as well in relation to women beingmore sensitive and more I suppose opento talking about their feelings and thisis something that I really want to tryand work on in the future is getting mento open up about their vulnerabilitiesand talk about their weaknesses and allthings that they struggle with becausemale suicide is far too high for what itshould be in fact it should never bemental health is obviously poor as wellwith males as well and I just think wehave such a bravado and this kind of wehave to show strength all the time thatwe're almost too afraid to kind of speakand it causes problems so I think it'sgreat that maybe it's you as anindividual hopefully it's morewidespread across your community thatyou guys are at least acknowledging thatthere is this lead here in your societyso I think that's brilliant I think it'salso important that anyone in your agerange or anyone going through whatyou're going through doesn't seekvalidation externally it's all aboutreceiving internal validation firstyou've got to love yourself beforeanyone else out they can love youbecause irrespective of what they saywhen it comes down to it you sit in yourown mind on a daily basis on your bottomyour mind can be your best friend or itcan actually be your enemy so you reallyneed to work on that so it's reassuringfor me listening to you to know thatyou're in a much better place understandI mean I think like even how you sayingthey're sorry to cut you off is no noyou can with mental health and you knowthat even as you said the suicide goal Ididn'tthat myself that male suicide is goingup but with mental health like I find itsuch a big cuz even myself like I won'tsit here and I say I haven't been for itmyself I have because I always thinklike you know I've been there in my bedfeeling low as how old you know feelingfeeling rock but I'm thinking you knowand people will say to me what do youhave to stress about you're only 18 19and that's okay that's so cool that'sthere like we used to get on with itback in the day but it's just it's notthe same because we've got all thisaccess to social media nowadays we'vegot people trying to make themselveslook better put like different like youknow brightnesses on their pictures orincrease the brightness of their face ontheir pictures and you know you may meetsome people they don't like this day andthen they're not actually like whatwe've been trying to portray they areand social media and that's what F's itall up because you can't betray yourselfto be something on social media and whenyou meet the person you like well thisperson just the whole different spectrumand with mental health advice it'salways like you can you can do betterthan the other person who you can F overthe other person who can keep on goinguntil some like it's like a it's like arat race like a wolf kind of like a wolfpack sort of thing who can be the thewolf that climbs at the my own first andand all the other ones are trying tolike basically just drag him down andit's hard because you know even withPunjabi community once again they'realways like well if you say to them thatyou have a mental health problem wellthey'll just be like okay no problemjust deal with it yeah I mean it can'tbe that way because I'll getting worsenow and there's only more awarenessabout it now because of social mediawhich the benefits of social media aswell and all this kind of stuff I thinkthat's a that's a great point and againfor the listeners that it's a lot harderand I kind of do sympathise with youguys coming up in this generation wheresocial media has this good parts but ithas this kind of evil tail to it as wellwhere I never had to deal with that sogrowing up for me when I was going touniversity and we were drinking andpartying his sirwe were never worried about taking snapsor or having a whole night out lookingthrough the lens of our phone it wasjust kind of being there in the momentin experience in it and then ourself-worth wasn't pretty much like thatoh absolutely and at the same time ourself-worth wasn't predicated on the factof when we go home at the end of thatnight who got the most likes on that forthe most engagement for example so I'mvery grateful for that and I think it'simportant that you mentioned that but Ijust want to say something else that youmentioned as well because you've said ita few times now and it's probably moreso because of youris that you seen everyone F each otherover because of like you're almostseeing it like a rat race and I thinkthe rat race thing is an important thingand I've tweeted something this morningit was taken from Wayne died and it's avery good quote which i think is quiteuseful for where we are right now inthis show and what he says is we're inpartnership with all other human beingsit's not a contest to be judged betterthan some and worse than others and Ithink if we all sin ourselves a sort ofpartnering up with humans and trying tohelp each other move forward in thislife because at the end of the day we'reall figuring it out as we've touched onearlier I think the world will be insuch a better place but we have thisscarcity mindset where we think in orderfor me to move forward I have to standon somebody else or put somebody elseaside as opposed to saying yeah why do Ihold your hand and we'll move togetherand you're always quicker and strongertogether so I think it's reassuring tohear that you're you've got that mindsetand I think if you remain selective likeyou mentioned earlier I think you'll getthe right network around you toobviously help yourself move forward Ithink what it is as I it's always thatyou've got you right it's always at alland everything as well it's like that'sif you want to create a business rightit's always a trial and everything wherehumans are like you may trust one andthen they may break your trust and youmerge that listen with your whole heartand that's not bad that's not thatshouldn't people shouldn't beatthemselves up if that happens becauseit's a learning lesson that means thatperson wasn't meant to be in your lifeand that means that there's better tocome because even even anyways thatyou've got to have some good days tohave some bad days you've got to havesome bad days to have some good daysit's just as simple as that and you justgotta take the positives that are veryfrom that you can't absolutely meabsolutely yes sir very wise words for a19 year old so appreciate I'll get at meso you're now in your first yearUniversity you've made massive strideswith your talent and your emotionalintelligence is really really high whichis nice to hear what saves you very goodquestioncurrently in my life at the moment whatscares me is not being able to provide acomfortable life for our potentialfuture wife and kids you know not beenough hub I'm a family now my mom dadmy sisters you know they're gonna wantto get married and well yeah I thinkthey're gonna need help with fine likefinance is not the be end and end allbut it does make life with more freedommore comfort so you know if there'ssomething that Idude help them make their life easierand maybe I don't know let's say I hadanother source of income I could give itto them I'd be happy to do that but it'sjust you've got a we're card for thesethings my mom you know she's a teacherherself so you know I always see yesshe's always stressed out so she'salways coming you know she'll be withwork all day she'll be coming back inthe market papers you know tour about9:00 10:00 at night I don't know shedoes it and then repeat the day mybiggest fear is not making their lifeeasier and my biggest fear is not beingable to provide a comfortable life formyself and the family around meI think you've almost answered the nextquestion as well which I was going toask about the motivation so it seemsthat your motivation right now is to beable to successfully graduate and thenprovide different streams of income tofacilitate one obviously your sister'sgetting married helping your parents athome and then obviously giving yourselfthe kind of life that you want as wellyeah because like even for me as welland working under people just kind ofget under my skin a bit to be honest butyou're gonna have to do the minute youagree for a couple years of your lifebecause that's the way it is when you'reyoung as well you know people have toldme that that's the way and you justgotta work hard you've got to keep yourchin up which is not a problemso like currently now I'm working atNando's which is not a problem I'm happyI'm happy for the free Nando's I can'tcomplain but it's a good job for me nowbut could I see myself doing that whenI'm what thirty years old I wouldn'tlike to think so often - because youknow even though it's a good job youknow dealing with customers thatstraight rude or having so much pressureput on you and you know running back andforth running back and forth it's allgood while I'm young but maybe when Iget older maybe I may not just have thatenergy that's interesting firstly I'mhoping I get a free round after thispodcast session is on oh yeah that'sjust as good the weird thing is thereason I'm touching on does is oneeveryone knows I absolutely love Danlosbut tea when I was at university it justopened on Birmingham Broad Street and Iremember sitting there oh I workedliterally all the way through Universityso I went to the same uni as youAston uni and I always had a job noWayans yeah yes I had a job on theweekends and my aim I remember whenNando's opened after trying it I waslike man I really wish I had a job atNano so it's funny how the world worksbut there was a point in time wherehaving a job at Nando's was literally mydream job at least for that period inone yeah time so appreciate where youareappreciate or the good thingbe grateful for everything that's comingyour way now it's taught me like youknow it's told me that hard to grit myteeth who went there a lot of rudecustomers come in so you have to lookafter it like it's like it sounds a bitweird like it's like your own family youhave to keep it clean the place becausethat's where people are going to come inlike you know if you come into the storyyou want to make sure everything isclean you want to make sure the food'son point cannot attend not 9 out of 10because it's not if it's not 10 out of10 then you know you're not going to behappy with the service at all you knowhave a smile on your face and just keepon going like keep your chin up evenwhen it gets hard like even for mesometimes I'll be like I'm just touchingmy forehead thinking flirty arm and Ineed a break but you just got to keep ongoing absolutely me absolutely we'reactually at the fun part the show nowthere is no right or wrong answer butjust try and say the first thing thatcomes in your head we're gonna go inthree two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be judgmental peoplepeanut butter and Nutella peanut butteryour biggest role model biggest rolemore mom what would you like to beremembered for being Who I am yourbiggest goal this year to just keep onworking hard no matter how hard it getsyour worst mistake is listening to otherpeople about a certain person if youcould relive one day again what daywould it be 26 of May two years ago whyit was just everybody was therefamily friends you know we was at myhouse and it was just you just wantedmost be of things you know honestly Iread I really loved that day I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when your fame that's a hardon max I'm thinking well with things youcan get money but then what I say moneyyour favorite food the mix grown andokay speak our languages will be able tospeak to animals animals what song bestdescribes your life Dizzee Rascalbonkers would you rather know how youwould die or when you would die andfinally if you could sit with one personin the world for an hour who would it beprobably my baby my grandma I love thatso the next question it's aboutreflection and I'm a firm believer thathindsight is a wonderful thing and itteaches us ways to get there quickereasier and we're less heartachebut I'm also an avid believer that thejourney teaches us so much as well interms of his lessons so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone particular moment knowing everythingthat you know right now and whispersomething to a younger barrage whatwould you say I just said to myself I'dsay barrage do you not worry it will allcome to you in the end you will not endup failing you are not a quitteryou are not inclined to please otherpeople put yourself first say no if youdon't want to do it it's as simple asthatenjoy the present moment more don't looktoo much into the future ruining yourfull process already and don't look backwith pain in your heart these are thebroken pieces of the puzzle which yousaw might end up still piecing togetherhave fun and live life enjoy your youthdon't look too much into girlsalcohol or any other distractions justtry and discipline yourself more keepyourself closed off but keep yourselfliving and humble always may I love thatI want you to do me a favor after thispodcast and actually send me thatwritten form and that was almost likepoetic you mentioned something therethese are the broken pieces and thepuzzle that's still in the piecingtogether but I want to do it just thisso if you can send me that at yourtranscript or what I'll do is I'mactually gonna bring them out separatelyno problem I mean I even I even do havea separate poetry account as well that Ido must like check it out if you haveany time yeah it's on my new profile butit's on its good word under school andschool oh okay check that as wellbrilliant so suddenly that actuallybrings us to the last question and thelast question that I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time science failsto save us and all that exists is a bookand this book is about you andeverything that you've achieved in yourlife all your weird and wonderful dreamshave been accomplished what I want toknow is firstly what would the title ofthe book say and secondly what would theblurb at the back tell us about you Iwrote yesterday I said you know he waslike I know other he persevered like noother he had himself he was elegantclean hearted charming and crazy hewould always go the extra mile for thosewho were close to his heart at times endup hereall in all he always tried to see thebright side of life the world is alreadytoo cold and entangled in its ownpleasures to not be positiveof that as powerful have you got a titlefor that the title the life of aninquisitive man brilliant me if youwouldn't mind could you give us the bestsources via social media where we cancontact you Instagram I love being oninstagram my instagram is under schoolbeat up for a while its be PU or e w alquite active on snapchat as well is beatup for a while again be pu r e w althey're the main ones I'm active on tobe honest ok no problem so what I'll dois for everyone listening today I'mgonna make sure I put all of the linksso you can contact barrage directly verysocial media as you've probably seenfrom some of these answers today's verypoetic so I'll be following them on hisInstagram poetry handle as well myselfstraight after thisI want to thank Mirage for being openabout his story and sharing it andhopefully this influences and inspiresmany others and I want to thank everyoneat home for listening thank you thankyou and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.