Show notes
What does AuDHD rage actually feel like? And is anger even the right word for it?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dive into the reality of emotional intensity in adult ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. If your neurodivergent nervous system goes from completely fine to ABSOLUTELY NOT due to sensory overwhelm, a meltdown, or sudden anger, you’re not alone.This isn’t an episode about neurodivergent people being angry, because if the difficult emotions hit hard, neurodivergent joy is just as loud.We explore why conversations about adult neurodivergence and emotional regulation focus so heavily on rejection sensitivity, frustration, and dysregulation while overlooking enthusiasm, awe, excitement, love and the glorious kind of joy that makes you want to kick your feet because there are king parrots in the garden.We also tackle a tough question: when does validating an emotion help us move through it, and when does validation accidentally trap us in rumination?In this episode:The myth of ADHD rage vs. what the research supportsEmotional reactivity and rapid mood shifts in adult ADHDSensory overload, panic, and the fight/flight responseWhy anger can feel saferAutistic communication, flat affect, and being mistaken for angryVenting, passionate speech, and how it impacts people around usExploring the neurodivergent window of toleranceRumination vs. validation: finding your logical brain againThe joyful side of neurodivergent emotional intensityFinding your tiny, ridiculous, wonderful sources of joyMetacognition, anxiety, and learning to trust your intuitionPattern recognition, dating choices, and ‘Deb’Timestamps:00:11 Welcome, chest pops, and absolutely no normal02:34 Today’s topic10:28 What we mean by neurodivergent rage12:12 Why does research focus heavily on negative emotions?15:42 Late diagnosis, and finding the joy again18:06 Suggestibility, self-talk, and changing your story20:41 Validation versus rumination: moving through it25:39 Is ADHD rage a real thing?27:03 Autistic flat affect, passionate speech, and being misunderstood29:02 When one person recovers quickly and the other doesn’t31:01 Sensory overwhelm, panic, meltdowns, and rage36:35 Nervous-system reactivity and emotional intensity38:14 The neurodivergent window of tolerance40:42 When your joy is too much42:18 Rage, frustration, passion, and the full emotional range45:29 Squishmallows, parrots, and finding joy47:31 Listener question: intuition, anxiety, and Deb51:28 Confirmation bias in dating patterns55:40 Are we sometimes too busy being nice to help each other grow?59:04 See you next week, Besties!A quick note:ADHD rage is not a clinical diagnosis. This conversation combines research-informed discussion with our own lived experience of ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. It isn’t medical or mental health advice, and neurodivergent people are every bit as varied as everyone else.Acknowledgment:We acknowledge the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples, the Traditional Custodians of the lands from which we record and pay our respects to Elders past and present.Connect with us:Email: [email protected]: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie's Website: executivefunctioning.com.auLinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-About the Show:AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is all about real conversations for late-diagnosed adults navigation adult ADHD, autism, AuDHD, neurodivergent relationships, work, emotional regulation, sensory overwhelm, and figuring out your brain as a grown-up. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
