Show notes
Why can a positive change you planned and genuinely wanted leave you dysregulated, exhausted, and desperate to get back to normal?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, your neurodivergent besties Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton unpack why late-diagnosed adults crave novelty and freedom but desperately rely on structure, systems, and predictable anchor points to prevent neurodivergent burnout.After a side quest involving a kangaroo collision, a battered Mazda, and a fancy stay at the Sofitel Melbourne, Callie and Jayne respond to a listener question from an AuDHDer whose daily structure was disrupted by several weeks of house guests.They explore why being highly organised is less about productivity and more about protecting nervous-system capacity, memory, energy, and sensory regulation. Hear how to navigate ADHD and autism routine disruption, set clear boundaries, and create low-effort anchor points without trying to rebuild everything while you are already overwhelmed.This podcast was created on the traditional lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past, present, and emerging. In This Episode:Why positive change can still trigger intense autistic and ADHD overwhelmHow routines act as essential scaffolding for memory and sensory regulationWhy capable-looking AuDHD adults may be hanging on by a threadOvercoming the shame of wanting visitors, holidays, or disruptions to endThe physical cost of masking and the need for safe places to resetHow to design flexible, temporary routines around your current energy levelsUsing clear communication and shared plans with family or house guestsLow-effort, stabilizing habits rather than trying to fix everything at onceWhy checking your basic physiological needs (food, water, rest, movement) must come firstAllowing yourself intentional, guilt-free recovery time when normal life finally returns Timestamps 00:00 – Neurodivergent travel stories with an unexpected American sidequest06:17 – Two weeks off routine and the immediate impact of losing daily structure09:52 – The kangaroo collision and arriving at a luxury hotel with half a car23:15 – Listener Q&A: Why do planned, positive changes slowly trigger autistic overwhelm?30:43 – When being highly organized is actually vital nervous-system support34:00 – Late-diagnosed AuDHD masking: Dropping unrealistic, unsustainable standards to prevent burnout36:36 – Brain scaffolding, using routines as systems for memory, energy, and sensory regulation38:37 – How to build temporary, low-demand routines when your capacity drops42:55 – Boundary setting: Protecting your peace and creating shared expectations with house guests45:34 – Micro-anchors - stabilizing, low-effort anchor points to reduce daily overwhelm48:02 – The nervous system pyramid: checking basic physical needs first49:33 – Giving yourself permission to rest when life finally returns to normal51:54 – The ultimate paradox: How AuDHD adults navigate the constant tug-of-war between needing novelty and needing structure Connect With UsWatch & Follow: Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at @FThemFishGet In Touch: Send your stories, listener questions, ADHD tax confessions, guest ideas, and feedback to [email protected] for Grownups: F Them Fish is an honest, funny podcast about ADHD, Autism, work, relationships, sensory overload, burnout, identity, late diagnosis, rest, overthinking, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis. Follow or subscribe on your favourite player so you never miss an episode, and please leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.This episode shares lived experiences and practical ideas for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not medical, clinical, or psychological advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
