<p>Venezuelan topless waiters, home renovations vs holidays, why chickens lead to gold teeth and how to eat those chickens out of an apron pocket when nobody's looking.</p>

Out with a bang.

"I cook for fashion victims, festival goers, sports fans, dead people (never explain), horsey types, celebrities with cheese fixations &amp; Japanese school children. 21st century Australia?!? There's squalor, cockroaches, mouse shit in the peppercorns, unidentified thickening agents in the mushroom soup, a rat called Basil in the fridge unit &amp; people who’ve been shouted at for so long they pass the abuse on down the line." Musician Barton Hartshorn takes on the Melbourne catering scene armed with blunt knives, a saucepan, a guitar &amp; the increasing realisation that he's not where he should be.