Don't Cut Your Own Bangs
Don't Cut Your Own Bangs
Danielle Ireland
The Myth of Normal and the Pressure to Fix Yourself, with Ashlyn Thompson
1 hour 10 minutes Posted Mar 9, 2026 at 9:04 am.
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Show notes

What if the problem isn't that you're broken… but that you've been handed a measuring stick that was never made for you in the first place?

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Ashlyn Thompson for a deeply honest conversation about the pressure to keep fixing yourself, the myth of "normal," and how easy it is to confuse self-growth with self-rejection.

Ashlyn opens up about life as a medical mom with ADHD and the layered complexity of trying to function in a world that constantly suggests there's a better, more optimized, more "together" version of you just waiting on the other side of the right routine, system, planner, diagnosis, or breakthrough.

Together, we explore what happens when the pursuit of becoming "better" starts to feel exhausting instead of supportive. We talk about the difference between self-renovation and self-reclamation, why "normal" is often a flawed and painful benchmark, and how to start listening for what actually fits you instead of forcing yourself into what looks right from the outside.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like a project.
Anyone who has ever thought, Why does this feel so hard for me?
Anyone who is tired of chasing the version of themselves they think they're supposed to become.

There's a lot of truth in this one.
And also a lot of relief.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • The myth of normal and why "average" is not the same thing as healthy

  • The pressure to constantly improve, optimize, and reinvent yourself

  • How self-help can quietly become another form of self-criticism

  • The difference between seeking growth from love versus from shame

  • Why "within range" doesn't always mean well

  • The emotional toll of feeling like you don't fit the world around you

  • How to notice what actually feels good, safe, warm, and true for you

  • Why creativity, play, and small moments of delight matter more than we think

  • The difference between problem-solving and solution-seeking

  • A gentler way to ask: What would make this feel a little easier?

Resources Mentioned

Ashlyn Thompson's podcast — Empowered by Hope
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/empowered-by-hope/id1658629344

Parent Empowerment Network
https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/

Good follow-up listens from Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Bridge to Believed: A Mindful Rant and Release (https://youtu.be/uzXuD-xvyyc) 
A solo episode on what to do when everything feels like too much, how to stop fighting your feelings, and how to come back to yourself in real time.

Pain as a Professor (https://youtu.be/QrZg4lKwxSg) 
A previous conversation with Ashlyn about pain, perspective, and how hard things can shape us without defining us.

 

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