Being in relationship with other people means, unfortunately, getting hurt. Sometimes that pain goes quite deep. My greatest injury was when my wife told me she had been unfaithful. You can click here to find out how we both identified our brokenness, and how God intervened and showed us the path to the amazing marriage we enjoy today.
But, after forgiveness and reconciliation take place, how do we deal with the pain when our partner’s “I’m sorry” is inadequate to soothe us?
Here are 4 steps I take to overcome the pain.
1. Examine the wound.
Evaluate whether the injury itself is so painful, or if there is an older wound this offense just uncovered.
2. Understand your own potential for harm.
If you are like me, your thoughts can get very dark at times. We each carry a capacity to make harmful choices. Allow this to provide you with empathy.
3. Focus on the now.
As the two of you are working to repair, keep your attention on your now and your future.
4. Define your identity.
Choose to be a victor rather than a victim. I also realized that my truest identity is as a child of God. The strength in this is indescribable. No longer can human relationships shake my foundation.