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As an avowed atheist, some of you may wonder why I bother dropping the X-mas Dance mix every year. I grew up in the Catholic church and for all the drama, the piss poor education, the failed attempt to teach creationism alongside actual science for which I questioned everything and was punished by Sister Ursula repeatedly, and the sexual abuse — you would think that I would shun the holiday season but I don't.



I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas in that I have great memories as a kid going to Corpus Christi, TX to visit Momo and Boonpa, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and always enjoyed myself. My grandparents were non-practicing Baptists, alcoholics, and basically hell raisers, which made them a lot of fun to be around. As I got older and after their deaths, the family pretty much splintered and the era of fun and family had come to an end.



By this time, I was in college in north Texas, alone, afraid, HIV+, and wondered when it was my turn to die. That never happened nor was I ever even close. I was new to the whole gay scene and had become great friends with Kurt who also happened to be from South Texas. He was a smart, bitchy queen that could slice through bullshit the minute it walked through the door. Yes, we were friends with benefits but that's about it.



I distinctly remember going to meet him for lunch during the season when he worked at Express in the mall and they were playing U2's rendition of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" over their speaker system ...