Returning guest and Dirty Dancing Expert Alicia Massey joins us to experience the made-for-TV remake of our beloved classic. We search for rays of sunshine among the gray clouds of this weird "musical" that never fully embraces any aesthetic. Swayze-stand-in Colt Prattes is absurdly ripped. Cultural revisionism and lack of subtext work together to ruin some of our favorite characters and absolve some of the baddies. Vince is sleepy and this movie is far too long. Josh does some really poor calculating at the end; the movie DOES get a total of two bonus [pickle] points. One for Dancing, of course, and one for Feminism. But not for Baby. Only the other women. NOTE TO DANNY: We pronounce Katey Sagal's name wrong all throughout the episode and I'm embarrassed.