When I cast my first vote in 1984, my 20-year-old self was a one issue voter.
The only reason I voted for Democrats was because I thought they were the best bet to make pot legal.
The stuck-up country club Republicans would’ve never done it. They were too busy legislating morality, getting rid of the separation of church and state while sipping chardonnay and discussing tax-shelters.
Democrats were old hippie, draft dodging, war protesting non-conformists. They were dope smoking long haired weirdos who were one joint away from being busted for a felony. Therein lied my hope.
As far as the actual system worked, both parties used to operate the same, more or less, save for a few nuances. It went something like this.
Republicans break into your house, shoot your dog, loot your silverware drawer, crack your safe, raid your refrigerator and eat your last ham sandwich.
Democrats break into your house, shoot your dog, loot your silverware drawer, crack your safe, raid your refrigerator and leave you a ham sandwich.
Predictable. You knew what to expect.
Now, it’s all gone to hell.
By the time you are done reading this, you will be so fed up with both Republicans and Democrats that voting for a third party doesn’t sound as farfetched as it used to be.
Perhaps the America Party or maybe just write in Daffy Duck.
In the grand tradition of American politics, where the left and right take turns pretending they’ve cracked the code to Utopia, both sides have devolved into a circus of sanctimonious posturing, bad ideas, and worse execution.
Let’s cast a pox on both their houses, using a phrase from the Bard, since neither the GOP nor the Dems warrant a free pass when it comes to the unmitigated mess we’re in.
First, let’s consider the Republicans, those self-declared protectors of liberty who would sell their own mothers for a tax cut and a photo-op with a bald eagle.
The GOP preaches “freedom” while simultaneously attempting to pass legislation governing your bedroom, doctor’s office, and your nearby library.
They are the party of small government, except when it comes to the military-industrial complex, where they will gladly funnel billions into gleaming new tanks to combat foes only found in Tom Clancy novels.
Their economic ideas boil down to “trickle down magic,” whereby the wealthy get richer and the rest of us are supposed to be thankful for the crumbs. Spoiler: the crumbs never materialize.
The Republican obsession with “traditional values” is a masters-class in selective nostalgia. They long for a 1950s America that existed only on television, ignoring the racism, sexism, and polio that accompanied it.
They’ll rant about Cancel Culture while attempting to prohibit books that describe anything spicier than a handshake.
And don’t get me started on their science denial.
Climate change? A hoax. Vaccines? Suspicious. Evolution? Likely a left conspiracy to give equal rights to monkeys. The GOP base eats this up.
Fox News, talk radio, and podcasts twist their sense of outrage and somehow persuade regular hard-working taxpayers that they’re the genuine victims, not the perceived elites they’re told to detest.
But the Democrats are not given a free pass just because they are the other team. The left has its own type of insufferable piety, disguised in the rhetoric of justice and progress.
They are the party of “woke” dogma when every issue is a moral crusade and detractors are heretics to be excommunicated.
Wish to interrogate the more complex elements of their diversity programs? You’re a bigot. Consider maybe that open borders are not a perfect concept? You’re a xenophobe.
Democrats have turned empathy into a competitive sport where the victor is the one who can signal their virtue most loudly while doing the least.
Their ideas sometimes sound as though they were concocted in a university seminar room by someone who has never had a real job interacting with actual people.
Take their economic playbook.
It’s a laundry list of giveaways that sound pleasant till you notice somebody has to bear the cost. Free college, free healthcare, free everything, except for the portion where your taxes pay the tab when the bill comes due.
While the Dems enjoy demonizing “the 1%,” their proposals rarely affect the truly wealthy, who employ armies of accountants to escape taxes.
Rather it is the middle class who is squeezed while being lectured on their so-called privilege. And don’t even attempt to have a nuanced dialogue on race or gender with a Democrat. They will close you down quicker than you can utter “intersectionality.”
Especially infuriating is the hypocrisy of the left on free speech. They will fight for your right to say anything unless your words violate their painstakingly compiled list of sacred cows.
Then it is deplatforming, shadow banning, or merely straight-up shaming you into silence. The same people who will cry “fascism” at a Republican’s sneeze will cheer when a private firm censors speech they don’t like. It seems only the government cannot infringe on your rights; corporations get a free pass.
Moreover, their fixation with identity politics has split their group into a thousand competing tribes, each wanting their share of the grievance pie.
Both parties suffer the same guilt.
They are more concerned with winning and fund raising than with governing.
Promising to own the libs while the infrastructure of the nation crumbles, Republicans target their base with cultural war red meat.
While pretending they are the underdogs battling the Man, Democrats are preoccupied monitoring language and devising fresh means to regulate your behavior. Though neither side has a monopoly on truth, both behave as though they possess God’s telephone number.
The real tragedy lies in the unintended consequences. Caught in the crossfire is the average American, who only wants a respectable job, a safe neighborhood, and a government that doesn’t treat them like an ATM.
Both Republicans and Democrats have turned politics into a reality show in which the goal is to amass retweets and campaign contributions rather than to address problems. Compromise is a dirty word. Working together for the general good is as obsolete as a pager.
Perhaps we need a fresh political party devoid of worship at the altar of ideology or corporate cash and works for the American people again. We should start holding these clowns responsible rather than treating politics like a team sport.
The Republicans and Democrats have had their turn, and they have both blown it spectacularly. A pox on both their houses. I hope the next generation will understand how to clean up the mess. They say they know what’s wrong. Can they find commonality to fix it?
What’s the solution? Hell if I know.
This nation’s got every ace in the deck, freedom, opportunity, and enough raw economic horsepower to make the world jealous. Time to quit bickering like sophomore girls and rediscover how to get the old red, white, and blue rolling better than it ever has.
Hey! You made it to the end. Thanks for that.
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