The key to getting better at almost anything is to allow yourself to get better. It's not just about your performance. It's about the way you experience getting better. Some people like the idea of being the first one, or being great the first time out of the gate. Others don't care, they just like the process. 

But, if you don't allow yourself to reap all the rewards and benefits of success because you know that it's not always going to go smoothly, then it doesn't matter if you go up there or not.