It's Oscars season and so we're back with Matt Belenky to spar with a Best Picture winner: Million Dollar Baby. Starring and directed by Clint Eastwood and written by Paul Haggis a year before he penned yet another Best Picture Winner in Crash, this pugilistic take on euthanasia is a classic tearjerker.

It is also a mixed punching bag: filled with melodramatic fetishization of the southern bumpkin archetype, brilliant cinematography, a florid narration by none other than Morgan Freeman (channeling strong Shawshank Redemption vibes), and a plucky Best Actress performance (earned or not) by the always endearing (if not a little cloying) Hilary Swank (to be fair, everyone in this is a maudlin caricature, to degrees). Though nowhere near as bad as we make it out to be (one might say it's more appropriately "between nowhere and goodbye"), Million Dollar Baby received a good old-fashioned beatdown on this episode. If you're in the mood for some Academy Award-adjacent schadenfreude, you've come to the right place. Enjoy!!!