The outside-in approach to change is fraught with harmful routines that debilitate us. Today we discuss the penal system and the backwards approach to how inmates are incarcerated. Sometimes it feels like they are in the business of job security instead of working with criminals to improve society. We behave according to our beliefs (identity). Change happens when identity is altered. How do you see yourself?

61 THE FOUR BURNERS

We are each hard wired to connect. When we don’t connect it hurts and when it hurts, too often we medicate in a fashion that brings about more pain. Authentically You is a breath of fresh air and in our 3rd year of sharing, we’re just scratching the surface. Instead of focusing on problems, Dr. Richard Himmer and his lovely bride, Cheri, focus on solution-based conversation. Listen to what 37+ years of a happy marriage sounds like. They have no problem with conflict; however, they don’t engage in contention. Conflict is a focus on what is right and is necessary for growth. Contention is a focus on who is right and is the primary source of discord, divorce, bullying, poor management, and dysfunctional relationships. Authentically You is the energy behind discovering happiness, joy, and well-being. When you know who you are, you are free to become your true self. Too many people want happiness without the necessary skills and understanding that support the lifestyle of being happy.