Thanks for joining me.

I’ll bet you were expecting Gary but he asked me to share a story I was sharing with him yesterday. I hope that works for you since I think this story has a message we can all take to heart. Let me just tell you the story.

1: Who Treats Who Best?

Hannah was thirty-years-old and yet it felt as if she was a million miles away from her dreams and desires. She had a college degree but was stuck in a dead-end job that didn’t challenge or stimulate her. She wanted more, and yet she couldn’t seem to make it happen.

The one relationship that did make her feel alive and hopeful was her relationship with Jeff – the man she considered to be her soulmate. They met in college, and had been together for the five years since.

Hannah believed that she treated Jeff better than he treated her. She made sure to always show her love and appreciation for him, always putting his needs before her own. She was certain that Jeff knew how much she cared for him and treasured her.

Jeff on the other hand, thought that he treated Hannah better than she treated him. He felt he had done everything he could to prove his love to her, but he felt like she took him for granted and did not value him the way he deserved to be valued.

They each felt they had done their best in the relationship and yet it had to come to this – an argument that neither wanted to have and both wanted to avoid. Hannah believed she deserved more and Jeff felt that he was owed more. Neither of them was willing to concede and give the other what they wanted.

Finally after days of arguing (intermittently, of course), they

decided to take the disagreement to a trusted and impartial third-party – one who could tell them who truly treated who the best. They wanted to confirm whether the respect and appreciation that each had for the other was actually mutual, and it was up to this third-party to provide a definitive answer.

2: Seeking Clarity

Hannah and Jeff sat nervously in the cozy living room of their friend, Sarah. The room was adorned with warm colors and soft lighting, creating an atmosphere of comfort and ease.

Sarah, a close friend to both of them, had agreed to mediate their dispute and provide an unbiased perspective on who treated who better.

As they waited for Sarah to join them, the tension in the room was palpable. Hannah fidgeted with her hands, her mind racing with doubts and insecurities. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had been blind to Jeff’s efforts all along. Maybe she hadn’t been as attentive as she thought. Her heart ached at the thought of losing him.

Jeff, on the other hand, sat with a stoic expression, his mind filled with frustration and confusion. He loved Hannah deeply, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that his efforts were going unnoticed. He desperately wanted Sarah to validate his feelings and prove that he had been right all along.

Finally, Sarah entered the room, her warm smile putting them at ease. She sat down across from them, her eyes filled with empathy. “Alright, let’s get to the bottom of this,” she said, her voice gentle yet firm. “I want both of you to tell me what you believe you bring to the relationship and what you feel is lacking from the other person.”

Hannah took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. “I believe I bring love, support, and understanding to our relationship,” she began. “I always prioritize Jeff’s needs and try to make him feel cherished. But sometimes, I feel like he doesn’t appreciate my efforts. I want him to show me more affection and acknowledge the little things I do for him.”

Jeff nodded, his eyes locked with Sarah’s. “I do love Hannah, and I try my best to show it,” he admitted. “But sometimes, it feels like she takes me for granted. I want her to recognize my efforts and reciprocate the love and affection I give her. I need her to make me feel valued and appreciated.”

Sarah listened intently, her gaze shifting between the two. “It seems like both of you have valid concerns,” she said thoughtfully. “Perhaps there’s a miscommunication or a difference in how you both perceive love and affection. Have you ever discussed your expectations openly?”

Hannah and Jeff exchanged glances, realizing that they had never truly delved into their desires and expectations. They had assumed that their love for each other would be enough, but now they understood the importance of communication.

Sarah continued, “I suggest you both take some time to reflect on what you truly need from each other. Write down your expectations and discuss them openly, without judgment or blame. Remember, relationships require effort from both sides.”

As the weight of their argument began to lift, Hannah and Jeff felt a glimmer of hope. They realized that seeking the opinion of a friend had brought them closer to understanding each other’s perspectives. They were determined to work through their differences and find a way to meet each other’s needs.

With Sarah’s guidance, they embarked on a journey of self-

reflection and open communication, ready to redefine their relationship and discover a deeper understanding of what it truly meant to treat each other with love and respect.

3: The Journey Within

The days turned into weeks as Hannah and Jeff delved into the depths of their hearts, seeking clarity and understanding. They sat across from each other at their kitchen table, ready to embark on a journey of self- reflection and open communication.

They had taken Sarah’s advice to heart, realizing that their assumptions and unspoken expectations had led them down a path of misunderstanding. They were determined to bridge

the gap and redefine their relationship, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy.

Hannah started, her voice filled with vulnerability. “I’ve realized that I often expect you to read my mind and understand my needs without me having to express them,” she admitted. “But that’s not fair to you. I need to communicate my desires and expectations openly, without assuming you should just know.”

Jeff nodded in agreement, a weight lifting off his shoulders. “I’ve come to understand that I haven’t been as attentive as I thought,” he confessed. “I need to be more present and actively listen to your needs. I can’t expect you to always be the one to initiate affection or appreciation.”

With each revelation, their bond grew stronger. They began to understand that love wasn’t just about grand gestures or extravagant displays of affection. It was about the little things, the daily acts of kindness and consideration that showed they truly cared for each other.

They made a pact to implement small changes in their daily lives. Hannah started expressing her needs and desires more openly, while Jeff made a conscious effort to actively listen and respond to her. They discovered the power of gratitude,

expressing appreciation for even the smallest gestures.

As the weeks went by, Hannah and Jeff noticed a shift in their relationship. The once constant arguments and feelings of resentment were replaced with understanding and compassion. They began to see each other’s efforts and appreciate the love that was always there, but had been overshadowed by their own insecurities.

One evening, as they sat on their balcony, sipping wine and watching the sunset, Hannah turned to Jeff with a smile. “You know,” she began, “I’ve come to realize that it’s not about who treats who better. It’s about treating each other with love, respect, and understanding. It’s about being there for each other, even in the smallest of ways.”

Jeff nodded, his eyes filled with love. “I couldn’t agree more,” he said. “We’ve learned that love isn’t a competition, but a partnership. It’s about supporting each other’s dreams and being each other’s biggest cheerleaders.”

With their newfound understanding, Hannah and Jeff embarked on a journey of growth and self-discovery. They encouraged each other to pursue their passions and dreams, knowing that their individual happiness would only strengthen

their bond.

They continued to communicate openly, never shying away from discussing their needs and desires. They understood that relationships required constant effort and were willing to put in the work to ensure their love thrived.

Here’s what they came up with to explain to each other how they expected to be treated, how they are committing to treat each other. They agreed that their friend Sarah would approve.

We both like it when things are fair so here’s what you should do. Watch how I handle things, then treat me like I treat you.

I get into a bad mood once in a while and you get into bad moods too. Watch how I manage my bad moods, then treat me like I treat you.

I may have a lot of things to say or I may only have a few. Watch how I listen when you talk, then treat me like I treat you.

Sometimes you get mad at me and sometimes I get mad too. Watch how I handle the angry times, then treat me like I treat you.

There are things that are important to me and things I expect of you. Watch how I handle your counting on me, then treat me like I treat you.

There are places I expect you to be and there are times to be there too. Watch how I manage being places on time, then treat me like I treat you.

Honesty is something that matters a lot so be sure what you tell me is true. Watch how honest I try to be, then treat me like I treat you.

You make commitments so I’ll know what to expect and there are things you promise to do. Watch how I handle commitments I make, then treat me like I treat you.

There are times when I am happy and there are times when I am blue. Watch how I handle your ups and downs, then treat me like I treat you.

There are things I want to experience and there are things I want to do. Watch how I support your hopes and dreams, then treat me like I treat you.

For now, be well, do well and do something nice for someone. He or she will appreciate it and you both will have a better day.