/* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-@font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-@font-face {font-family:"Calibri Light"; panose- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:8.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:106%; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}h1 {mso-style-link:"Heading 1 Char"; margin-right:0in; margin-left:0in; font-size:24.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;}h2 {mso-style-link:"Heading 2 Char"; margin-top:2.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0in; margin-left:0in; line-height:106%; page-break-after:avoid; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; color:#2F5496; font-weight:normal;}p.MsoTitle, li.MsoTitle, div.MsoTitle {mso-style-link:"Title Char"; margin:0in; font-size:28.0pt; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; letter-spacing:-.5pt;}p.MsoTitleCxSpFirst, li.MsoTitleCxSpFirst, div.MsoTitleCxSpFirst {mso-style-link:"Title Char"; margin:0in; font-size:28.0pt; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; letter-spacing:-.5pt;}p.MsoTitleCxSpMiddle, li.MsoTitleCxSpMiddle, div.MsoTitleCxSpMiddle {mso-style-link:"Title Char"; margin:0in; font-size:28.0pt; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; letter-spacing:-.5pt;}p.MsoTitleCxSpLast, li.MsoTitleCxSpLast, div.MsoTitleCxSpLast {mso-style-link:"Title Char"; margin:0in; font-size:28.0pt; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; letter-spacing:-.5pt;}a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:#0563C1; text-decoration:underline;}span.MsoSubtleEmphasis {color:#404040; font-style:italic;}span.MsoIntenseEmphasis {color:#4472C4; font-style:italic;}span.Heading1Char {mso-style-name:"Heading 1 Char"; mso-style-link:"Heading 1"; font-family:"Times New Roman",serif; font-weight:bold;}span.Heading2Char {mso-style-name:"Heading 2 Char"; mso-style-link:"Heading 2"; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; color:#2F5496;}span.TitleChar {mso-style-name:"Title Char"; mso-style-link:Title; font-family:"Calibri Light",sans-serif; letter-spacing:-.5pt;}.MsoChpDefault {font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}@page WordSection1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}div.WordSection1 {page:WordSection1;}Blind How Basics Blind How (https://BlindHow.net) isproduced by Gary Crow, Ph.D. who has been blind since birth and has extensiveexperience in mental health and child welfare administration, has spoken and trainedinternationally, and has written numerous articles, books for adults andchildren, and training guides. Most significantly, Gary knows how to succeedwithout being able to see and values the chance to share his experience andinsights with you. TheSocial Context Why might BlindHow … The Basics interest you? • Youcan't see and are looking for some tips and suggestions for how to do what youwant to do. • Youspend time with someone who can't see and want some tips and suggestions forhow to be more helpful. • Youare curious about how people who can't see are able to do what they do. • Youwant to know more about what people who can't see can do to succeed in a worldwhere most everyone else can see. • Youwant to start with the basics, tips for folks who don't know much of anythingabout how to live a full life without being able to see. • Youwant to expand your understanding gradually to include more opportunities andoptions for doing whatever you hope to do, when you can't see. If Itell you that I am blind, what comes to mind? Now if I simply tell you that Ican't see, how does the picture in your mind's eye change? Likely the change issignificant. Thepoint is that telling someone that I'm blind seems to bring to mind a mixed bagof ideas and emotions about what that means in general and about mespecifically. For the most part, people think about what I can't do, causingthem to feel sorry for me. Of course, not everyone is so limited in theirunderstanding, but most are. Ifinstead I tell them that I can't see, people are frequently not sure what to door what to say. This is good news for me. They are then focused on what theyshould say or do next and not on ideas and notions they have about blind peoplethat may be true, but often aren't true for me - or for most blind people forthat matter. InBlind How … The Basics, I share tips about things I have done and can do. Ifyou or someone you know can't see, the tips may be helpful. If you can see,they may help you get a better handle when hanging out with people who can'tsee. I hope the tips and discussion also help you be slower to pre-judge whatpeople can and cannot do just because they can't see. Ifthat has us in sync with the purpose of Blind How … The Basics and how itworks, let's get on with it.   CommunicationMatters Look Up When Iwas young, my mother told me and then told me again to look at her when she wastalking to me. One time I responded by saying, "I'm blind so what makesthe difference?" Her response? "Yes, you are blind, but that's neveran excuse for being rood or lazy." Isuspect that you get my point. For my mom, not being able to see was never anexcuse for not doing what I was able to do. Even if I couldn't see her, Idefinitely could turn my head in her direction when she was talking and atleast act like I was paying attention. Icould look up and in her direction. That was at least the place to start.Success required feedback though. The problem was learning not to look too highor too low, too far left or right. I needed to focus on her voice and where itwas coming from. The technique I developed is to focus a little below where Ithink the voice is located. It helps to shift my head and shoulders, so myshoulders are squared with the person talking. Thebest way to get this right is to ask someone who you are around a lot and youare comfortable with to coach you when you are seeming not to be payingattention or are just getting lazy. Let them know that too much coaching getsirritating and not to coach when others can observe what's happening. Withpractice, all of us who can't see can get better at looking at people when theyare talking to us. As theskill improves, we can learn to look at anyone who is talking whether he or sheis talking to us or to someone else. (Although I don't know how it works forothers who can't see, I tend to look too far up and slightly to the right whensomeone is talking to me.) • Eventhough I can't see, I'll look at you when you're talking to me. Speak Up Let mejust assume that you are looking at me when I'm talking. You are looking,aren't you? If you aren't managing that skill, speaking up will stillhelp, but not so much. Althoughthis may not be a problem for you, it is for me. If I get a little lazy anddon't pay attention, I tend to look down and mumble or at least talk tooquietly for others to hear without needing to make a special effort to hear.I'll bet you see where my problem starts. Sure, it's tending to look down. Speakingup definitely hooks up with looking at people when they are talking. It'simportant to also look at people when you are talking. It's pretty easy for meto slip into not looking up, not looking at the person to whom I'm talking. Peoplewho can see are much more comfortable when they and those with whom they aretalking can look at each other. Face-to-Face is most always the preferred mode.If they are having a Zoom call, they want the cameras on. In-person ispreferable to telephone calls. But here's the clincher. Those of us who can'tsee can usually hear when people who are talking to us aren't looking at us. • Eventhough I can't see, here's what I'll do, I'll look your way, when I'm talkingto you. Whenhaving a conversation, look at the other person, whether you or the otherperson is talking. When you are talking, speak up, clearly and loudly enoughfor the other person to hear without any special effort. Look up and speak up. That'sdefinitely good advice for anyone, whether or not he or she can see. But forthose of us who can't see, it's particularly important, since we may tend notto look at people when in a conversation and may not talk loudly enough orclearly enough to be easily understood. If you can't see but don't have anyissues with always looking up and speaking up, way to go. I'm just mentioningit since I sometimes forget and thought reminding you can't hurt. Straighten Up Nowfor the third element to remember when talking with other people. Who knew thata simple conversation could be so complicated? Don'tslouch. Stand up or sit up straight. Okay, if it's a casual conversation with afriend, not slouching is less important, but still makes a difference. For allother conversations or social situations, standing or sitting up straight andkeeping your shoulders back matters a lot. It lets others know that you areinterested, are engaged and are someone to be taken seriously. It also letsother people know that you are taking them seriously. Thereis an additional element that I'll get to shortly, but for now, focus on the 3ups: Stand or sit up straight, look up at others when you or they are talkingand speak up so others can hear you without needing to make any special effort. Youknow to focus on the 3 ups: Stand or sit up straight, look up at others whenyou or they are talking and speak up so others can hear you without needing tomake any special effort. This is useful advice for anyone, but it'sparticularly important for those of us who can't see. Why? Because some of uswho can't see, if not most of us, tend not to look at people with whom we aretalking, are apt to not talk loudly enough and clearly enough to be heardeasily and may get a little lazy and not sit or stand up straight. Whydoes it matter? We want to be taken seriously and may not be if we neglect the3 Ups. It's no more complicated than that. Respect and Connect Thereis a fourth element for effective communication that I'd like to tuck in as thefourth up, but I can't figure out any way to make it an up. Even so, it'spretty important, important enough to label it as the key to effectivecommunication. Without it, the 3 ups still matter, but even if you look up, situp and speak up, it is still hard to be taken seriously or to let others knowthat you are taking them seriously. Itgoes back to that blind thing. Certainly not everyone who can see, but many whocan, make assumptions about blind people that are generally not true. Ask someonewho can see to finish the sentence, "Blind people…." The likelihoodis that they will finish the sentence with things that they assume blind peoplecannot do. Theadditional issue is that they likely don't personally know anyone who is blind.They probably know of a blind celebrity but still think of him or her in termsof what he or she can't do, seeing the celebrity's musical or other specialtalent as separate from his or her blindness. Blindness is typically not seenas a simple fact but rather as a complex handicap. Ofcourse, the same types of assumptions are made about people with other physicallimitations such as not being able to hear or not being able to walk. This isthe issue. People who can see, can hear, can walk, reflexively think of whatthey would not be able to do if they suddenly couldn't see, couldn't hear,couldn't walk. They then project their perceived inabilities onto those of uswho can't see, can't hear or can't walk. It'sworth noting that many people who see fine but then can't see later in life,are apt to do the same thing, but they project their false assumptions ontothemselves. They think of themselves as blind and unable to do much ofanything. Since they haven't yet learned how to manage without being able to see,it feels like not being able to do much of anything may be permanent. I'llget back to that on https://BlindHow.net, but here I want to share the key toeffective communication, when you can't see. •Listen and learn. Thesingle best way to be taken seriously in any conversation is to make it clearthat you are taking other people and what they say seriously. If you firstattend to taking the other person seriously, he or she will be more apt to takeyou and what you say seriously. The more seriously they take you and what yousay, the more your not seeing moves into the background. You know you are beingtaken seriously when someone tells you that they forget that you can't see. Iknow. You were expecting something a little more profound. Here's the thing.Being seen as blind can lead to people projecting a lot of their own feelingsabout what they couldn't do onto you. The result is that they may tend not totake you and what you say as seriously as you deserve. They don't get pastblind. Listenand learn is not a magic solution to the blind prejudice of some people, nor isit a guaranteed path to always being taken seriously. It is rather the best wayI know to improve your odds of being taken seriously, especially when youcombine that with getting better and better at getting better and better atdoing things in spite of not being able to see.  BATSIs The Key There is a critical difference between can't and haven'tyet figured out how. This is true for most everyone, but especially true if wecan't see. Sure, there are some things that depend on seeing, with no way ofgetting around that. Picking a few of the obvious: driving, playingprofessional baseball, visually appreciating a spectacular sunset and lookingaround the room to see who came to the party are currently not in the cards forus if we can't see. Even so, the list of things that require seeing is a lotshorter than most people think. And even for those things we can't do, we stillhave options. Driving is out for me, but I still can get to wherever Ineed to go. Playing baseball is out for me, but I still can be a baseball fanand enjoy the games. Watching a spectacular sunset is out for me, but I stillcan appreciate the joy others have when they describe what they are seeing.Visually scanning the room is out for me, but I still can listen and haveconversations, gradually figuring out who all is there. Let me suggest that you think about BATS whenever you arefrustrated or annoyed by not being able to see, when you want to do somethingand think you can't because you can't see. "But what do BATS have to dowith it," you ask? Thanks for asking. BATS stands for "Best AlternativeTo Seeing." When we put BATS first, "I can't see" is neverthe end of it. Any time there is something we need to do or just want to do,the challenge is to figure out what our best alternative to seeing is, whilestill being able to do whatever it is we need or want. Step one is to remind ourselves that we are only blind inso far as we can't see. Others may at times relate to us as if our limitationsare more extensive, but we know that is not the case. Can't see is where itstarts and ends. I do understand that any of us might have more than onelimitation, but even so, each limitation is what it is, no more, no less. Ourchallenge is to figure out how to do what we need or want to do, in spite ofour specific limitation. Of course, the alternatives to seeing depend on exactlywhat we want to do. The available alternatives when we want to go to school arenot the same as when we want to go shopping, not the same when we want to gofor a walk in the park as when we want to see what's happening on Facebook. Ourneeds and wants range from little things to really big things, from the fairlyeasy to the complex and difficult. Sure, we need to know what those alternatives are and howto access them. That's the easier part of the success equation. The harder partis deciding just how much we really want whatever we have identified forourselves. The issue is that it is always easier and simpler to just stay athome and do nothing. Let me share a very brief story from my past. I think youwill get the point. I was a Freshman at Ohio University and sitting in theoffice of my academic counsellor. I was frustrated and generally feeling sorryfor myself. He said, "Here's what you need to know. No one, with thepossible exception of your mother, cares much one way or the other aboutwhether you graduate or not. All the caring is up to you. This time next year,only you will really understand how much you did or did not care." The point indeed relates to big wants, but it applies tothose little wants that come up every day; but I'll bet you get the point,don't you? I'm thinking that we should dig into BATS a little morebefore just moving on to how to do this or that without seeing. There is amajor issue that we need to think through very carefully. There Are Alternatives With few exceptions, one alternative to seeing is to getsomeone who can see to do whatever we want done. If inclination and resourcespermit, we could simply have someone drive us wherever we want to go, readwhatever needs read, cook whatever needs cooked, clean whatever needs cleanedand on and on. As the saying goes, we could just have someone wait on us handand foot. You think this sounds silly? On the one hand, good for you.But on the other hand, many people who can't see, quite easily and without muchthought, get into the habit of being waited on. To a significant extent, muchof the time and in most situations, having others do things for them becomestheir preferred alternative to not being able to see. Should we always do things for ourselves, without any helpfrom someone who can see? Of course not, especially if there is someone nearbywho can and wants to help. Note that I said, "wants to help," and notsimply "willing to help." To always refuse help would be as silly asalways expecting help. This is quite a bit more complicated than it may seem atfirst. I'm not sure I fully understand its complexity, since I struggle somewith the issue myself. Even so, there are a few points that pop out for me.Perhaps mentioning those here will help you think about the issues from yourperspective. I suspect that the help versus do-it-yourself question is personaland doesn't have the same answer or set of answers for all of us who can't see. Let's start with something that I think is important or atleast of interest to me. That could include a hot cup of coffee or cleanclothes, reading my mail or a movie on TV, dinner or using my cell phone, awalk around the block or a visit to my doctor, brushing my guide dog orvisiting with friends, doing my banking or ordering a pizza, going out forlunch or making a podcast. I could easily put a hundred items on my listwithout much thought. I'm sure you could put at least as many on your list,although they wouldn't all be the same as those on my list. We all have thingsto do, places to go and people to see. Let's call the things on our lists"activities." Here's the thing. It's far too easy for many of us to playour blind card. We either wait for someone who can see to help us with theactivity or do the task for us, or we simply avoid the activity. Can't or atleast won't wins. The outcome is cumulative: we gradually do less and less,avoiding more and more. Please note that I'm not talking about situations wherepeople live or work together, situations where work and other activities are dividedup – I'll do this and you do that. Rather, I'm focusing on situations where aperson who can't see comes to be dependent on others doing most things for himor her, or perhaps he or she just avoids whatever the activity is. I am simply struggling to describe what can happen to many,if not most of us who can't see, if we don't actively resist. Sure, I'm talkingabout me, but may also be talking about you. Fortunately, knowing the best, andlikely only way to prevent drifting down the slippery slope to dependence andnon-participation turns out to be simple. But knowing and doing can be farapart at times. Here it is in the proverbial nutshell. The best alternativeto not seeing is to figure out how to do whatever you want done, by yourself,without depending on sighted assistance, unless necessary. This is the good news. Most everything you want to do isbeing done somewhere and being done independently, by a person who can't see.For those times when sighted assistance is necessary, anonymous help is usuallythere, on your phone. The bad news is that developing the needed skills andaccessing the available resources takes time, effort and a big measure ofdetermination. • Since I can't see, it's up to me, so BATS it shall be. Consider The Options Forthose of us who can't see, getting what we need and most of what we want is attimes quite challenging. Sure, it's challenging for people who see fine too.But for us, there are a couple of additional factors requiring extra attention.Let's give them some thought here. First,I'm only talking about those things we need or want that we would simply do orget for ourselves, if we could see. As it turns out, this can be a long list.Suffice it to say that we each have a lot of items on our "would be easyif I could see" list. Forany of the items on our list, we have options. The easiest option is to skipthe particular item, just get along without doing it or getting it. For me andmost likely for you, the do-nothing option is sometimes tempting andoccasionally the choice we make. What we need or want is just not worth thebother right now. And that's okay occasionally. People who can see do the samething now and then. Whatever they want or need is just not worth the time andenergy it would take right now. Their motivation is not strong enough, althoughthey could do whatever without much extra effort. Butfor most of us who can't see and most of the time, doing nothing is not anacceptable option. Even if we can't see, we are determined to do what needsdone, determined to get what we want. Buthow do we do that, how do we do what we want to do, get what we want? There maybe more than three options, but I know of three general approaches that usuallycover the challenge for me. First, I can get someone who can see to do it forme or get it for me. Second, I can enlist the help of someone who can see toassist me with doing it myself or getting it myself. Third, I can develop theskills and strategies I need to do it myself or to get it by myself. It'simportant to emphasize that each of these three options is perfectly legitimateat times and in some situations or circumstances. At other times, insisting onone option over another may be inappropriate or counterproductive. Those of uswho can't see need all three options and the ability and determination to usethem as needed and as appropriate. Eachof these three options requires good communication skills and especially goodconversational skills. Why? For the first option, having someone who can seeact on our behalf includes our being able to help them understand what we needor want and what we think would be the best way for them to proceed doing forus. Forthe second option, having someone who can see assist us with whatever we needor want involves even more and continuing communication. As for the thirdoption, think of observing someone who can see while he or she does what youwant to do, actively participating while you work together to do what you wantdone and then working increasingly independently over days, months or years toperfect your ability to do it by yourself. Here'ssomething to consider. Each of us, whether we can see or not, have needs,problems and vulnerabilities beyond our individual ability to cope. We all needother people with skills, talents and resources who are available and willingto help us compensate for our limitations. Our challenge is to learn aboutthose people and resources and then access them for our benefit. Meeting thischallenge for those of us who can't see, among other things, rests firmly onour ability, and on the ability of those who advocate on our behalf, toeffectively communicate our special and general needs and wants, and the bestways to satisfy those needs and wants. Parents do this for their children whocan't see, teachers do this for their students, and you and I will either do itfor ourselves or it likely will just not happen. Since I can't see, it's up to me,getting people who can see, to: • Doit for me, • Getit done by working with me, or • Youknow, don't you? Sure, I'll just have to figure out how to do it for me. Getting Stuck at "How?" When Ithink of things I want to do, it's easy to get stuck at "how." Forexample, the mail comes, and I want to read the mail. How do I do that? I popthe last chip in the bag into my mouth and want more chips. How do I get morechips? I wantto call my friend but don't remember his number. How can I find his number? I wantto wear my red shirt with my black pants. How do I know I selected the rightones? I wantto go for a walk in the park. How do I do that without getting hurt or lost? I wantto do some work on my computer. How is that possible? Icould keep adding to my list as you could to yours. But here's the point. If Icould see, the "How?" questions have easy answers. I justopen the mail and read it, run over to the corner store and pick up some morechips, scroll through my contacts on my phone and tap on my friend's name, lookin my closet and grab my black pants and red shirt, slip on my walking shoesand head out to the park, pick up my mouse and I'm good to go. If Icould see, the "How?" for most everything on my list is simple. But Ican't and the "How?" is not simple. If youused to be able to see, the first step to get past the "How?" issuewill likely be the hardest for you to take. Look and do is not an optionanymore. You can't look and read, look and shop, look and tap, look and choose,look and walk, look and click. You can't look and do anything anymore. That'sthe bad news. The good news is that you can still do most things you want todo, just not by looking and doing. The challenge is to get unstuck, to get onpast the notion that looking is the only way to facilitate doing. I can't see;therefore, I can't do, is seldom true. Theproblem is getting stuck on "How?" But that's not quite it. Close,but not quite. The problem is getting stuck on looking being the only how. It'snot. That's some more good news. Unfortunately,there is also some more bad news. Alternatives for doing, when looking isn't anoption, are usually neither obvious nor intuitive. I have had most of alifetime to learn how to do without seeing, but there are still skills Ihaven't mastered, strategies I still haven't learned. Let meshare a simple fact. Not seeing is a nuisance, inconvenient, frustrating, butis what it is. Doing without looking requires a skill set and resources thatare neither easy to acquire nor simple to maintain. If you want a quick andeasy solution, sit back, relax and hope that someone takes pity and waits onyou. Otherwise, here's the deal: • Ifit is to be, it's up to me, despite my not being able to see.  Can't Need Not BePermanent I waslistening to a podcast, when a listener's email told a sad story. The listeneridentified himself as blind and was bemoaning his situation. Mostly, he wascomplaining about all the things he can't do and how inconvenient it is to needsomeone around to care for him and his needs. Thatgot me to thinking about how easy it is for those of us who can't see toconfuse can't with don't know how. The specific issue in the listener's emailthat caused me to ponder the confusion came when he said that he had to get someonewho can see to hang a picture for him. His point was that his blindnessprevents him from using a drill and makes it impossible for him to get thepicture level and at the right height. That'sjust silly talk. I can't see and know how to use a drill. I can't see and knowhow to make sure a picture is level. I can't see and know how to hang a pictureat a good height for most people when they are looking at it. Being blind isnot the reason why the listener can't hang a picture on his wall. The reason issimple. He just doesn't know how to hang the picture without being able to see. Is thelistener having his own pity party? Probably, but that is not my point. It'strue that he can't do by looking. But just because he can't do by looking doesn'tmean he can't do. Let mesuggest a strategy for doing if you can't see. Think of something – anything –that you think you can't do because you can't see. Now, start with the outcome.As clearly as you can, define what you want to achieve. I want this picturehanging appropriately on that wall. I want to be wearing my red shirt with myblack pants. I want to be eating lasagna for dinner. I want to be pleased withthe selection of groceries in my pantry. I want to be sitting on my friend'spatio chatting and having a cold drink. I want to be at a bookstore, signingcopies of my new book. I want to be relaxing in my newly finished basement orperhaps on my new deck. I want to be listening to the latest episode of mypodcast. I want to be attending my graduation from college. I want to use allof the features on my cell phone. I want to hike to the bottom of the GrandCanyon. Iknow. It's another one of those lists. But what goes on your list? Whatoutcomes interest you? Nowthat you have an outcome in mind, you're ready for the second part of thisstrategy for doing without seeing. There are people who can't see who know howto do all of the things on the list I have included here. Even better, thereare people who can't see who know how to do most everything on your list aswell. But how do they do that? Theyuse the three strategies I mentioned earlier. They get someone who can see todo it for them. They get someone who can see to help them do it. They learn todo it for themselves. Whichever strategy they choose, they don't confuse can'tsee with can't do. Here'sthe secret sauce. The people who are most successful at doing without seeingintentionally use all three of these strategies, taking care not to confusecan't see with can't do. It works like this. I'llfirst be clear about what I want. Then I'll identify someone to will do it forme, while I carefully observe. Then, I'll get them to help me do it myself.Finally, I'll use my new skills to do it by myself. • Ifit is to be, I'll just need to learn how to do it for me. Youmay have noticed that, so far, I haven't suggested anything that only appliesto those of us who can't see. The tips all work quite well for people who cansee, although for them, the tips may not be quite so essential. The Secret Sauce Well,I'm about to do it again. One of those tips that is essential for those of uswho can't see, but work almost as well for everyone else, is headed your way. Theharsh reality is this. If you can't see, many, but definitely not all, peoplewho can see make judgments about you based on little more than their personalgeneralizations about blindness and blind people. Unfortunately, thosegeneralizations tend to be negative. Not negative in the sense of your being abad person or somehow unacceptable, but negative in terms of being limited,less competent, more needy and ignorable. Amajor contributor to these negative generalizations is that most people who cansee have never known a successful, competent blind person. If they do knowsomeone who can't see, the likelihood is that the blind person they know isquite old, not involved in the mainstream of things, or both. Sure, it's justanother version of prejudice; but knowing that doesn't help much when it is youwho is the person being judged. Iagree. It's not fair, not right and people who judge us without knowing usshould be ashamed of themselves. There is another side to that particular cointhough. Many,but definitely not all people who can't see, buy into the negative judgmenthabit. They sometimes behave as if other people should adjust to their issuesand limitations. Since they can't see, people should expect less, accommodatemore and be more considerate of how difficult it is to get along when you can'tsee. And the fact of it is that most people will expect less and accommodatemore, at least until they get tired of it or start to suspect that you aretaking advantage of their helpful nature. Earlier,I suggested a few ways you can get past the tendency of people to put you inthe blind box, depending on whatever they assume about people who can't see. Ican assure you that life is easier in the blind box, if you don't mind stayingon the fringe and mostly being ignored. If instead you do mind, do believe thatyou can swim in the mainstream, are committed to giving it your best effort,first be sure you are implementing the tips I have shared. Along with thosetips, here's another tip to incorporate into your skill set. •There is never a good excuse for bad manners. Iknow. Your manners are impeccable. You don't need to be reminded to use yourgood manners every day, everywhere, with everyone. This little tip is just notneeded. But just in case, pick someone you know who has especially good manners.Now, ask yourself if you are keeping up with the standard they are setting. Ifso, good for you. If not, you may want to work on that. It's one way you canlet other people know that you don't belong in their blind box. Goodmanners are a lot more than please and thank you. Observe thoughtfully, takemental notes and remember the thoughts and feelings you have about people whoreally do have impeccable manners. You'll soon get the point. • Ifit is to be, I'll always take my good manners with me, putting them right outthere for all to see.  Let's Consolidate Here'sa tiny anecdote that I think captures the essence of helping children who can'tsee, understanding how to succeed when we can't see, and most everything we'llever need to know about how to do when we can't see. I wassix years old and in the first grade. My mother had come to pick me up afterschool and was talking to my teacher, Miss Icenogle. I was playing near by anddropped the pencil I was using. My mother immediately started to pick it up andhand it to me. Miss Icenogle said, "No, let him look for it. He needs tolearn to listen to those types of things. If he looks and still can't find it,then you can hand it too him, making sure to mention where you found it."And thus, a long journey of learning to do it for myself was underway. With"I'll learn to do it myself," as our mantra, here's the message, inshort. • Goodcommunication skills matter a lot. Start by looking at whoever is talking,whether he or she is talking to you or to someone else. •Stand or sit up straight, look up at others when you or they are talking andspeak up so others can hear you without needing to make any special effort. • Thesingle best way to be taken seriously in any conversation is to make it clearthat you are taking other people and what they say seriously. If you firstattend to taking the other person seriously, he or she will be more apt to takeyou and what you say seriously. The more seriously they take you and what yousay, the more your not seeing moves into the background, the less likely theyare to put you into their blind box. •There is a critical difference between can't and haven't yet figured out how.When we put BATS (Best Alternative To Seeing) first, "I can't see" isnever the end of it. Any time there is something we need to do or just want todo, the challenge is to figure out what our best alternative to seeing is,while still being able to do whatever it is we need or want. Here'sthe thing. It's far too easy for many of us to play our blind card. We eitherwait for someone who can see to help us with the activity or do the task forus, or we simply avoid the activity. Can't or at least won't wins. The outcomeis cumulative: we gradually do less and less, avoiding more and more. Hereit is in the proverbial nutshell. The best alternative to not seeing is tofigure out how to do whatever you want done, by yourself, without depending onsighted assistance, unless necessary. Buthow do we who can't see do that, how do we do what we want to do, get what wewant? I know of three general approaches that usually cover the challenge forme. First, I can get someone who can see to do it for me or get it for me.Second, I can enlist the help of someone who can see to assist me with doing itmyself or getting it myself. Third, I can develop the skills and strategies Ineed to do it myself or to get it by myself. Notseeing is a nuisance, inconvenient, frustrating, but is what it is. Doingwithout looking requires a skill set and resources that are neither easy toacquire nor simple to maintain. If you want a quick and easy solution, sitback, relax and hope that someone takes pity and waits on you. Otherwise,here's the deal: • Ifit is to be, it's up to me, despite my not being able to see. Wereyou expecting some secret tricks or magic techniques? There aren't any, or atleast, I don't know them and haven't found anyone who has. Workon your social and communication skills and then set off on the long anddifficult journey to doing things you want and need for yourself. I think thekey is staying out of other people's blind boxes, while developing andexpanding your skill set for doing without seeing. Doingwithout seeing is like becoming a good ball player. It requires motivation anddetermination, good coaches and playing opportunities, concentrated study, andfrom there, it's all practice, practice, practice. Minimum Skills What do you think the outcome will be if every child whothinks that playing baseball is fun, is told that his or her goal should bebecoming a professional baseball player; or perhaps, any child who isinterested in science is told that he or she will only be a success whenawarded the Nobel Prize? "But no one would ever do that," youprotest. Unfortunately, it happens; and any of us may be one of the guiltyparties. Putting the issue into the "can't see" context,all of us who can't see have been challenged in exactly this way. If youreflect back, you will find a few examples of me doing it to you. How? Isuggest a skill you might want to add to your personal skill set, and then I doit to you. I tell you that there are people who can't see who have masteredthat particular skill. Either implicitly or sometimes explicitly, I suggestthat you can and probably should develop the skill, getting as good at it asthose who have mastered it. Why would I do such a silly and maybe even cruel thing toyou? Why would I imply that you will only be successful when you have mastereda particular skill? I don't have any excuse. I realized that quite recently. My sudden insight came a few minutes after I ran into thecorner of a door, banging my forehead. Yes, it was my bedroom door. Yes, I knewthe door was there, just where it always is. Yes, I wasn't paying attention towhere I was and where I was going. And yes, I'm pretty good at getting up andaround; but I'm not quite the master of that skill as I may have led you tobelieve. Nonetheless, I'll still be walking around, trying not to bump intothings, even though I'm not yet a master at it. This is what I think the take-away is. For the most part,those of us who can't see should consider developing those skills we need to dowhat we want to do, at the level sufficient to get the job done for us. Thereare a lot of skills we need, to do what we want to do, but we may not need tomaster any of them. "Good enough" is usually sufficient for ourpurposes. Keep It Low and Slow Let me say up-front that I realize that you may not be ableto see, but despite that, you never bump things, knock things over nor spillstuff. Well, good for you. Your skill set is definitely advanced relative tomine. I mentioned earlier that many people who can't see have skills far betterthan mine and skills I just don't have. I sometimes bump things, knock things over and occasionallyspill stuff. Here is the first and most important point. So does everyone else,whether they can see or not. And whether you can see or not, the reason is mostalways the same … carelessness. That's unfair? You can't see, so everyone should cut you alittle slack? You're right, and most people will cut you some slack,although it's still annoying and inconvenient for them, especially if they haveto clean up your mess. Better to ramp up your skill set some and get better atnot bumping, knocking and spilling.  Here's a technique that will help. It won't prevent all ofthose little accidents but will reduce their frequency. Before reaching foranything, even if you just put it there yourself, hesitate just a second toconsider where you think it is. Now reach low and slow. Slide your hand on thetable or along the path toward whatever you are reaching for. This serves two purposes.First, when you touch the glass or other object, you won't be moving your handfast enough to knock it over or to spill whatever is in the container. Atleast, let's hope your hand was moving slow enough. That's the slow part. The low part is so, when you do touchthe glass or other object, you touch it near its bottom. It's that center ofgravity thing. Things are just less likely to tumble over or spill from alittle bump near their bottom. There is an extra benefit to low and slow. If when you touchwhatever you are looking for, it scoots or rolls away, it probably won't go asfar. That usually makes it easier to find, if you need to feel around for it.Even then, keep it low and slow while trying to find it. But, if you can't see, slow matters most, right after takinga second to think about what you are reaching for, where you are headed or whatyou want to do. If you can see, you just look and do. If you can't see, youneed to first make a calculation and then act on your calculation, thoughtfullyand intentionally. ThreeElements Three important elements in your calculation are distance,position and risk. There are other elements, but these are the three most used.How far away is it? Where is it in relation to things I already know about? Whatis the risk to me or to other things if I get the calculation wrong? I could go into more detail, but I suspect that you get thepoint. Stop a second to calculate distance, position and risk, and then reachlow and slow. • If it is to be, I'll think first and then reach low andslow to get what I want for me. Playing Lost and Found Do you like to play lost and found? Most people don't likeit much, especially if it's their stuff that is lost. Even so, the found partof lost and found works okay for most everyone. And therein lies the problem. For those of us who can't see, losing our stuff isfrequently followed by not finding our stuff. Instead of lost and found, we areleft with lost and still searching, or too often, lost and quit looking.Nothing to do but get along without our stuff or wait until someone who can seehappens by to find it for us. So what's the deal? Why can't we find our stuff? Likeeveryone else, those of us who can't see don't put things away when we are finishedusing them, lay thing down but forget where, toss things on a table or chairwithout thinking about it, or move things to a new location but don't rememberwhere that is. Of course, the issue when we can't see is that lookingaround for stuff is not an option. That brings us back to BATS, discussed in anearlier episode of Blind How. "What do BATS have to do with it?" youask. BATS is our Best Alternative To Seeing, and since we can't look around, wedefinitely need an alternative. I sure hope you aren't expecting a quick and easy solutionto the lost but not found problem. I won't like it much, if I have todisappoint you. PutThings Away First comes the obvious. Put things away after you use them.Don't just lay things down or toss them on a table or chair without giving it amoment's thought. Only move things if necessary. Don't forget where you putthings. If you live with other people, ask them to try to put things back wherethey got them. And most important, ask them not to move your stuff or otherthings like furniture or equipment. That's it: your Best Alternative To Seeing, when it comes tolost and found. Just work at getting better and better at not losing ormisplacing things. I think the most helpful element here for your skill set isremembering that "I'll put it away later," isn't going to cut it forthose of us who can't see. ASuggestion I do have one suggestion for finding your stuff though. Whensomething is not where you expect it to be, expand the search area a little. Itmay have just gotten bumped or pushed away some. But before you just keepexpanding the search area, stop for a minute to think about exactly where itwas the last time you had it or used it. It's probably still there. Will you still lose or misplace things? Indeed, you will.The good news is that, with practice and attention, lost and not found willfrustrate you less often. If you think this is unrealistic and too much work, you canhope someone who can see always comes along to find your stuff for you. Buteven if they do, if you don't remember where you put it, they may not be ableto find it either. No, I'm not going to just leave it at that. Despite our besteffort, we still have times when we can't find our stuff. Fortunately, thereare a few more tips that will add to your finding my stuff skill set.  I'll besharing them. But just know that not losing or misplacing your stuff in thefirst place is definitely your Best Alternative To Seeing. Give and Take For those of us who can't see, there are quite a fewpotentially awkward situations that come up now and then. We usually make itthrough them with a minimum of embarrassment, although it would be better tofigure out how to avoid them in the first place. As trivial as it may seem to people who can see, simplyhanding something to someone else or having him or her hand something to us isoften one of those awkward situations. If both people in the exchange can see,passing something to someone else seldom results in an issue. But beforepursuing this, I do want to point out that, even people who can seeoccasionally fumble the exchange. Drinks get spilled and things are dropped.Please keep this in mind the next time there is an accident. It may have verywell been the person who can see who fumbled. To keep accidents at a minimum though, I have a fewsuggestions for handing things to people who can see, and for taking thingsbeing handed to us. The first tip is probably obvious but is also frequentlyskipped as the first and often the best option. Don't try to hand something tosomeone else, especially if it is easily seen by him or her or might spill orbreak. Simply say, "Sure, you are welcome to it;" or perhaps,"Help yourself." If you do need to pick it up and hand it to them, pick it upand hold it toward them. Don't reach it out or move it around. Let them do thereaching. If someone is handing something to you, tip one is to notreach for it at all. Ask them to please lay it on the table or some othersurface, where you can easily find it. This frequently comes up in restaurants.Just wait with your hands in your lap until the meal is served. Especially if you are being handed a glass or cup ofsomething that can spill, hold your hand open as if you were going to pick upthe glass, bottle or cup. Turn your hand so your fingertips are pointing down.Now put your hand on the table or other surface where you want the glass to beplaced. Notice how your thumb and index finger form a circle where the glass orcup should go. Most often, the person who can see will automatically set theglass conveniently inside the circle you have made with your hand. You onlyneed to very gently move your hand until you locate the glass, and thencarefully pick it up and have a refreshing drink. Having something handed to us can be more awkward thanhanding something to someone else. Why, you ask? The person doing the handingfrequently expects us to reach for it and take it from their hand. There may bean uncomfortable silence, while the other person wonders why you aren'treaching to take what is being handed to you. Even worse, they may lay it downor set it down, expecting you to reach and pick it up. Tip two is easy. If you are being handed something bysomeone who may not know you can't see, just say, "I can't see and willappreciate your handing it to me." When they do hand it to you, rememberto say, "Thank you." One final little tip. For most things, hold your hand, orboth hands if appropriate, in front of you at about chest level, as if youalready were holding the object being handed to you. People will usuallydeposit the object in your hand, ready for you to grasp it. However you dealwith it, hold still and don't move your hands around. When people hand stuff tous, our hands should not be a moving target. There is one hidden tip in there that might be missed. Evenif you have a white Cane, dark glasses and your friendly guide dog, some peoplewon't get it that you can't see. I usually say early on, "I can't see. Ijust thought it might help for you to know that." No, not to everyone,every time. But whenever the contact is more than passing, mentioning it can'thurt and often helps. Lost and Not Yet Found Set it and forget it? If you, like me, can't see, set it and forget it has a wholeother significance. I know, you don't lose track of your stuff. You resent mysuggesting that, just because you can't see, you might not remember where youset something down or where you put it. I apologize, so let me start this over. I sometimes setthings down or put them somewhere and can't remember where. Even worse, I lookfor whatever it was and end up knocking it over, spilling it or maybe justbumping it, with the result that it goes flying and I have an even harder timefinding it. If I could see, I would just look around and would usuallyfind whatever was temporarily lost. I can't. I don't. Okay, you've got the idea. I occasionally set it and forgetit. If that ever happens to you, here are a couple of tips.First, work on putting things away, where they belong. Yes, I'm actuallyserious. Even if you plan to use it again fairly soon, take the extra minute toput it away, back where it's easy to find. It's nearly as easy to get into thehabit of putting things away as it is to habitually set things downwilly-nilly. "I'll put it away later" is mostly a sign of laziness.That isn't much of an issue, unless you can't see. But if you don't mind notbeing able to find your stuff, don't bother with getting into the habit ofputting them away. Here is my second tip. If you need to set something downwhile completing a task or activity, put it beside something else that doesn'tmove, and that you always know where it is. This comes up when working in thekitchen, at your desk, in your workshop, etc. You need to lay down a tool orsupply while you do something else. It needs to be handy when you need it. The main point here is not to just randomly lay it down inan open area on a counter or other surface. Put it next to the wall, against anappliance or other object that you seldom move, or beside another fixed object.The idea is that you can first locate the spot that doesn't move and thenlocate whatever you sat down. This technique is much harder to explain than to do. It'slike having a mental map showing where things are. When setting something down,put it next to a familiar landmark on your mental map. Then, even if you forgetwhere you put it, it's easier to check near the usual landmarks than to have torandomly search around for it. It will make finding your stuff even easier ifyou get into the habit of trying to always use the same reference landmarks asmuch as you can. If you set things down beside the regular landmarks, they willbe easier to find, when you set it but forget where. A quick reminder and a tinyextra tip Remember to move your hand low and slow when reaching forwhatever you have temporarily set aside or laid down. The tiny tip is to alwayslay knives down with the cutting edge away from you and on the other side ofwhere you may be feeling for it. The same edge that can cut a cucumber can andwill cut your finger, if you aren't careful. Might As Well Get Up So far, everything I have discussed, and the tips to goalong, can be done sitting down. If getting up and walking around are not inyour wheelhouse, there are many more things you can do, but for now, I want toshift to walking around.  Let me just skip right over how easy walking around is ifyou can see. I can't see and walking around is for me, a daily challenge. Let'salso get past the notion that, even though you can't see, it's possible for youto learn to walk around, never tripping, bumping into things, knocking thingsover and not even occasionally banging your head or other sensitive area into awall or stray chair. Maybe someone who can't see, somewhere, but not me andmost likely, not you either. Bumps, bruises and similar annoyances areinevitable, if walking around is in your daily routine. I have a robot vacuum cleaner that has learned to vacuum thefloors in my house, without any additional directions or intervention. Okay, itonly usually vacuums my house without any intervention by me, except when itgets stuck or can't find its way back to its dock. I call it Jake. If itsuccessfully vacuums and returns to its dock, I can say, "That's justJake." If it gets stuck or can't find its way home, that's just a Jakemistake. Here's the point. Jake made itself a map of my house whichit now uses to vacuum. With a little human help, it knows where each room is,how to get from room to room and its way back to its dock, most of the time.Making its map took a while, but it is pretty independent now. Just Jake, don'tyou think? Here's the deal. I'm smarter than Jake, and so are you. Ican make a mental map  of my house and can use it when walking around. Makingmy mental map took a while, but now that I have it, walking around my house isjust Jake, most of the time. Step one is to make the mental map of my space. I have onefor my house and others for places I regularly go. When I go to a new location,I immediately start making a mental map of that place. The longer I am at aspecific location and the more often I return there, the better my mental map forthat location gets. "How do I make a mental map," you ask? Ifpossible, I get someone to show me around, I ask about the location where I am,I listen to the sounds and noises around me and to what people around say aboutwhere things are and what they look like. Over time, I collect more and moredata about the place. The more data I collect and the more familiar I becomewith the location, the more useful my mental map becomes. Is that the end of it? Is having a really good mental map ofa place all there is to it? Would that that were true. I could just focus on mymental map and walk around with no mistakes, errors or issues. But instead ofbeing the end of it, having a working mental map is what gamblers call tablestakes. You need that mental map just to get into the walking around game.Without it, you are lost and would be well-advised to stay seated. At least, inyour chair, you aren't likely to bump into a wall or trip over the dog toys onthe floor. – But if that's not Jake for you, make a mental map everywhere youare and everywhere you go. Up andMoving Okay, it's time to get up and moving. But not so quick. I dohave a couple of thoughts to share first. If you've not been able to see for a long time, this isprobably nothing new or particularly interesting for you. I'm sure tempted toskip on past the basics to the good stuff, including phone apps and coolgadgets. I might even suggest a few podcasts specifically for those of us whocan't see. But all in good time. First, I need to share a few tips with thoseof you who recently joined the can't see club, and also with those of you whojust want to understand how those of us who can't se do what we do. First, a white cane or handy stick of some sort would likelybe helpful as you get up and about. I did tell you that I don't know everythingabout not seeing, or how other people are able to do what they do withoutseeing, didn't I? Well, this is one of those times. I have never used a whitecane and don't actually know how to use one. People who are proficient with awhite cane have a skill set that I simply don't have. Nonetheless, if you can'tsee and get a chance to learn how to use a white cane, go for it, without anyhesitation. It would be a good addition to your skill set. Second, if someone is going to help you get around, they arelikely to hold your arm or hand, trying to guide or lead you. This usuallydoesn't work out very well. Better is for you to hold their arm or touch them.What makes the difference, you ask? That is a great question. It's the difference between beinglead and following. Following is much easier. With the best of intentions,people holding you will tend to push and pull. When they do, it's hard to knowexactly what they want you to do or which direction they want you to go. Mucheasier is to hold their arm and follow them. I don't think I fully understandthe difference well enough to completely explain it, but for me, following isalways better. Try it both ways to see which works best for you. Just as an aside, when it comes to getting up and walkingaround, I have a tip and a caution, but I'm starting with the caution. Moreoften than not, if you bump into something or bang your head, the reason issimple. You started moving before you gave any thought to where you are and howto get to where you want to be. The next most likely reason for those bumps and bangs is notthinking about where you want to go and how you are doing as you move towardwhere you want to be. You just start out without any further thought. The pointis that you stop paying attention at your own risk. It usually turns out fine,but now and then, you will wish that you had been more attentive. Now that I have gotten us past the preliminaries, let's getto the first tip. Yes, there are quite a few tips and techniques for movingaround without seeing, but let's start with what I think is likely principlenumber 1. • It's all about the angles.  I'm going to assume that you want to walk around where youlive. We can start inside and save outside for later. You have made a mental map of where you live, haven't you?You need it now. The more detailed your mental map is, the easier moving aroundwill be. The key to walking around without running into things orgetting somewhere you didn't want to be is moving from point to point on yourmental map, and not trying to go from where you are straight to where you wantto be. It actually is as easy as that. As you walk, you know you are at the next waypoint when youtouch it with your hand, or perhaps your leg. Keep your hand up so you find thewall or other waypoint before banging into it. It's not necessary to reach out.It's usually enough to just hold your arm up some, with your hand bent forward.You only need to walk slowly enough to give yourself a chance to stop once yourhand touches the wall, or corner, or perhaps the refrigerator. Here's the deal with those angles. As you walk toward thenext waypoint, you can easily miss it, if you don't get the angle right. Takethe second it takes to face where you think the waypoint is before starting towalk. If you are facing the waypoint, you need only walk straight to it, whichis sometimes harder than it sounds. You face the waypoint before you start toward it. Based onyour mental map, you know about how far it is away. Your skill with getting itright will improve in time. Even so, you won't always end up where you wantedto go. Yes, you can and will become disoriented in your own house or livingarea. It happens to all of us who can't see. When you do become disoriented,stop. Don't just wander around. Move slowly in one direction until you findsomething familiar. Reorient yourself, and away you go. If there are people who can see in the area when you getdisoriented, they will try to verbally guide you. That usually doesn't work outvery smoothly. Better if they quietly tell you where you are. Sure, if they seea hazard, they should stop you from hurting yourself or damaging something.Even so, the best help is for them to just tell you where you are, or usuallyeven better, just wait until you get yourself reoriented. Pro tip: put a rug by the door or perhaps under the coffeetable. That gives you a foot guide when you step onto the rug. Also noticewhere the floor surface changes and add that to your mental map.  That's all too much. You're not going to all that bother.It's just a big nuisance. No problem, if you're okay with not getting up andaround, or perhaps you don't mind knocking things over, breaking things, and ofcourse, there are all of those bumps and bruises you could have avoided. Evenso, it's your call. There is a small fact of life that is frequently overlooked.Here it is. Just because doing something isn't complicated, doesn't mean thatdoing it is easy or simple. This important point definitely applies to doingwithout seeing. The tips and strategies for doing without seeing that I havediscussed so far haven't been particularly complicated. Nonetheless, addingeach tip or strategy to our personal skill set is far from easy or simple. Theyrequire a degree of attention, concentration and practice that can seem to beunreasonable and hardly worth the effort. On any given occasion, they arehardly worth the bother – and they are a lot of bother at times. Here is the issue. Those of us who can't see have limitedoptions. Either we go to the bother of incorporating the tips and strategiesinto our skill set, or we are permanently disabled, unable to do what we wantto do, when we want to do it. The things we want to do are either off the tableor left to the discretion and good will of people who can see. We each get to choose; and I'm assuming that you arechoosing to do for yourself, whenever you can, as much as you can. Noise Is usually Good I've focused on walking around our homes or living areas.The strategy is to start with our mental map of our area. It's not a one anddone kind of thing. We continue to improve our mental map by adding andcorrecting the details. The more time we spend in the area, the more detailedand the more accurate our mental map gets. I've also pointed out that a good strategy for moving aroundis to get into the habit of walking from known point to known point. I callthose points "landmarks." The idea is to take a moment to make sureyou are facing the next landmark before starting to walk. Now walk directlytoward that landmark. In your home, this strategy is important, but once you gooutside, it becomes critical. Practicing at home is your best bet for safelymastering the technique. If options were limited to following our mental maps,walking around would be difficult but doable. The good news is that we can dobetter than simply relying on our mental maps. I mentioned paying attention tothe floor. Notice when you step on a rug or when the floor changes from carpetto wood. The idea is that changes in the floor surface become additionallandmarks on our mental maps. The same notion will apply outside when thesurface where we are walking changes. I also mentioned touching things. Keeping our hands up helpsus touch things before banging into them, but also helps us identify landmarksin our environments such as chairs, walls and appliances. The added tip here is listening. Along with touching andfeeling, your home or living area makes sounds. Where I live, the furnace justturned on. I also hear the ice maker in the refrigerator. Different areas makedifferent sounds, letting me know a little more about where I am at anyparticular time. The traffic sounds are outside in front of the house, thebirds are chirping outside the back door, and on and on. My living environmentis not loud but is noisy, and yours likely is too. Again, listening becomeseven more important when we leave our familiar environments and venture intounfamiliar outside and inside spaces. Here's what I think is an especially useful tip. Leave aradio or TV playing whenever you are at home and awake. Along with beingauditory company, the sound is a consistent and continuous landmark that you canuse from most anywhere in your living area. I've done this for a long time andam still surprised at times by how helpful the sound is, particularly when Ibecome momentarily disoriented now and then. If you don't already do this, giveit a try. A Head's Up I mention walking outside and in unfamiliar inside places.The tips I include are minor and only intended to suggest a few things to keepin mind. Walking from place to place outside and in new placeswithout a helper who can see, requires a skill set that all of us who can't seeneed, but should only develop with the assistance of a qualified mobilityprofessional. Additionally, I don't know any way to develop those skillswithout learning how to use a white cane or guide dog. Where you live and spend most of your time likely is doable,whether you live in an apartment or on a farm. The key is that you have a goodmental map of the area and are aware of any risky areas or hazards. Also, whenyou become disoriented – and you will – there is minimal risk of getting hurt. I mentioned earlier that I don't know how to use a whitecane. I'm a guide dog user. My current guide dog is my seventh, so I have beentrusting my mobility to a dog for a long time. Like most other strategies fordoing what we want to do without seeing, getting out and about by ourselvesrequires high motivation, determination and practice and then more practice. Onany given day, it's easier to just stay home. The important thing to know isthat going wherever you want to go is possible but requires skills onlyacquired with the assistance of qualified mobility trainers. Talk andTell That's it for the heads-up. Let's get back to moving aroundin our personal living space. I earlier suggested leaving a radio or TV playingas an orientation device. The sound is a known landmark on our mental map. Butit gets even better. Here's where the fun starts. Those of us who can't seehave what sometimes seems like unlimited technology out there to help us dowhat we want to do. Does thinking about all that technology get you excited, ordoes it cause you to shrug and turn away? If technology is something thatinterests you, you are ready to ramp up your skill set for doing what you wantto do. If instead, you aren't interested and don't think technology is for you,you have made a life altering decision, although you may not know you aremaking it. You have decided to be satisfied with the status quo. You alreadyhave all the help you need or want, to do what you do, and just leaving thingsas they are is sufficient for you. – No problem. It really is your choice. Sure, I'll be getting to cell phones and computers; but forstarters, I'm very impressed with the Amazon Echo and the Google wirelessspeaker. You need the little speaker for either. I suspect you already have oneor the other. The cool part isn't so much the gadget, but rather the assistantthat talks to us. For Amazon's Echo, she is Alexa, and for the Google gadget, Icall him the Google Guy. We'll come back to both devices from time to time, but fornow, let's get back to walking around our living areas. Alexa and the GoogleGuy are great orientation helpers. Since I know where they are located in myliving space, I can just ask anything – It doesn't matter what I ask. – I get aresponse and immediately am oriented to where I am in relation to the voice.It's better for me than a radio or TV, especially when I don't want them on allday. You are undoubtedly getting the idea. Listening is, forthose of us who can't see, our most important orientation device. If you can'tsee and also can't hear, you have two serious issues; and I don't know how tohelp with the can't hear issue. But there are people who can help. The firststep is to identify someone who can't hear or knows how to help people whocan't hear. They likely can head you in the right direction to get someassistance. There are a lot of sounds in our environments and ways toadd sounds. Radios and TVs are good but adding Alexa or the Google Guy may beeven better. Along with being great sources of information and entertainment,both are excellent orientation devices. Ask anything, and you get a response.Since you know where the device is in your environment, it's easy to know whereyou are in relation to it. They are better than a radio or TV, since they onlymake noise when you want noise. The rest of the time, they are just waiting togive you a little orientation prompt. Is all of this easy peasy, a piece of cake? Definitely not.Is it doable with time and effort? It is, to the extent you can develop theskills and so long as you are willing to manage the frustration and hard work.Developing the know-how and skills is tedious. Having the knowledge and skillsis totally terrific. Touch and Tell let's continue our journey with rubber bands, paper clipsand safety pins. In the kitchen, put one rubber band around the cans of beans,and two for corn. In your closet, put one small safety pin inside the blackpants, and two for the brown. Put a paper clip on the mail you want to keep,and none for the junk mail. I'll bet you get the idea. Use something todesignate which type of thing is which. Doing for yourself starts with beingable to tell this from that. If you could see, it would be easy. When you can'tsee, you need a system. There are better ways of labeling your stuff, and we willget to them in time. For now though, get a good supply of rubber bands, paperclips and safety pins. Pro tip: You can also use big ones and little ones toadd to your labeling options. Just be consistent, and – the most important tip– remember your system. A LittleBraille Helps Too I think most everyone has a notion about Braille and what itis. It's raised bumps or dots in specific patterns that people who can't seeuse to read. If you are a proficient Braille user, you have a skill set thatmost people who can't see don't have. Does that surprise you? You're not alone. The belief iscommon enough that I am often offered a Braille menu when I go to a restaurant,and even my bank and the gas company send me a Braille version of my currentaccount monthly. I have never requested this service. They just assume that,since I can't see, I know Braille well enough to read Braille documents. Thatis definitely not true for me. I can use Braille well enough to do quite a lot though, andyou can likely learn enough Braille to make some things in your day-to-dayworld easier and more convenient. If you are motivated to learn to be aproficient Braille user, please go for it. Your new skill set will serve youwell. If you are responsible for a school-age youngster who can't see or who islikely to lose his or her vision, make learning Braille a priority for theyoung person. But if you are older and simply not up to the journey to Brailleproficiency, I do have a suggestion for you. Take a few hours to learn a little Braille. The Hadley School is an easy way to get started: https://hadley.edu or Call 800-323-4238. Just tell them that you want to learn a littleBraille. They will take it from there, and sooner than you may think, you willbe labeling things and making quick notes for this and that. The helpful folks at Hadleywill register you in their starter Braille class, help you get everything youneed to succeed and then set up a few classes that you complete at home. Andit's free. Can it get any easier than that? I can't read a book or even apage of Braille, but I can read the Braille labels on my medication from thepharmacy, the card I carry with me that has the number and other info for mycredit card, the labels I've made for stuff around the house and notes I makewhen talking to a group or when I want to remember a number or other littlepiece of information. Knowing more Braille might be useful; but even with thelittle I know, it definitely comes in handy most every day. Here's the deal. Just like a little exercise is better thanno exercise, and a little patience is better than no patience, and a littleindependence is better than no independence, a little Braille is way betterthan no Braille. Start with Hadley or someone else who can teach you and thengive it fifteen minutes a day for four weeks. If after that, you still thinkit's a waste of your time, you're probably right. Until then though, givelearning a little Braille a chance. Opportunities Are Optional Let me share an anecdote that speaks to opportunities thatare indeed optional. Whether to Pursue them represents a choice that only youcan make. I was listening to a podcast called iBUG Buzz. It's producedby the folks at http://www.iBugToday.org. iBUG is a Blind Users Group forpeople who use or want to use iPhones, iPads, Apple Watches, Apple TVs andeverything related. The website and the iBUG program has been around for morethan ten years, but I just found out about it this week. I'm going to spendmore time exploring its resources and options, and definitely recommend thatyou spend some time with it too. Back to the anecdote. An individual (I'm calling her Sue,but I have no idea what her name actually is.) commented that she has beenunable to see all of her life. As a child and on to being a young adult, Sue'sparents and others in her family were very supportive and also quite protective.With the best of intentions, they developed a pattern of doing most everythingfor her that children and adults who can see do without much thought. Theyobviously wanted to do everything they could do to make Sue's life frustrationand friction free. Their love was strong and heart-felt. To her surprise and that of her family, Sue discovered thatthere are lots of people who can't see who have learned to do most things theywant to do without needing someone to help or to do them for them. Many people whocan't see have developed a skill set that neither she nor her family knew waspossible. Sure, Sue had developed her own skill set, but limited byothers doing for her instead of her learning to do for herself. Her newawareness was that she could learn to use iPhones, computers and a range ofother tech-toys that could open a world of experiences and opportunities thathad been hidden from her. "Thanks, but I'll do it for myself," was anew and freeing experience. In addition to the tech-toys, she discovered agrowing range of resources for people who can't see that range from how to domost anything, to how others have adjusted to not being able to see, totechniques and strategies for managing more or less independently when she hadthings to do, places to go and people to see.   Why am I bringing this up at this point in our journey?Think cell phones in general, and smart phones in particular. Yes, you can makephone calls on smart phones, but if that's the only reason for having one, anold-fashion land-line phone is easier and probably cheaper. But making phonecalls is not the reason why you likely should have a smart phone, if you can'tsee. It's all the other things you can do with a smart phone that makes havingone so useful. Try this. Think of ten things you want to do that not beingable to see prevents or makes especially difficult. I suspect that a smartphone can help with at least seven of those things. The key here is that youdon't need to master the smart phone or become what they call a power user. Youonly need to have enough skill to get the smart phone to help with those thingsyou want to do. Since I'm not a smart phone power user, I'm not going to tryto teach you how to use a smart phone, but I am going to suggest resources youmay want to consider for this and other things you want to learn. I alreadyincluded the Internet address and phone number for Hadley. Here, I'll give youa couple of additional numbers for good learning resources. • American Foundation for the Blind (AFB): 212-502-7600 • National Federation of the Blind (NFB): 410-659-9314 Either of these organizationswill be willing to point you toward the resources and services you need tolearn to do what you want to do, including using a smart phone. For now though,be well, do well and keep in mind what I hope is your personal mantra: • If it is to be, it's up tome.