Ever since I’ve had children, I’ve sang this phrase based on the Budweiser commercials “Real Men of Genius,” whenever my kids do really dumb things. So, I finally had to make a parody of what was in my head. I know every parent can relate. Enjoy!

Script

Narrator: The Intentional Christian Podcast Presents… Real Children of Genius

Singer: Real children of genius.

Narrator: Today we salute you, Kid-Who-Cuts-Their-Own-Hair.

Singer: You’re that kid who cuts their own hair!

Narrator: Just when your parents thought they could trust you, you prove them wrong.

Singer: Teaching them a lesson.

Narrator: Placing those gleaming blades to your bangs, you made a bold statement.


I don’t need no stylist!

Singer: Barbers are for barbarians.

Narrator: Filling the bathroom floor with those curly golden locks, you jumped in the driver’s seat of your own life, and stepped on the gas.

Singer: Where are you going anyway?

Narrator: Mom clips and combs in a valiant attempt to make it not look hideous, but everyone at church knows what happened. You can’t hide ugly.

Singer: Why is momma crying while daddy’s posting video.

Narrator: “Excuse me kid,” the school photographer says, “you’ve got a little scalp showing there.”

Singer: I’m sorry mom. The mullet slash bowl cut slash shorty short bangs just ain’t working.

 

* Music courtesy of Fasol Prod.