This continuation of the spooky month has us watching Ultraviolet, a 2000s attempt by FOX to adapt a British series about cops and vampires. There were cops, and there were vampires, but they might have… forgotten what those are. Anyway, Idris Elba. Reviewers: James Ferris, Alex Malone, Lisa Dib, Harry Brimage Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

428 - The Omen

We're all familiar with the idea of a pilot episode, the one-off test run of a series to see whether or not it could ever work as a television show. But what happens to the shows that never make it past that stage? Usually they're cast aside and disappear from the public eye forever, doomed to fade into obscurity.

But Melbourne comedy troupe The Consumption say "No more!" We are reaching deep into the bowels of television history to bring you back hot, steaming piles of TV's many bizarre miscarriages. All while mixing the most disgusting metaphors possible.

We'll seek out and expose ourselves to the worst television pilots ever made so you don't have to. Each episode will see us dissect and discuss another horrible failed pilot for our amusement. Join us in our schadenfreude as we talk about wrestlers solving crimes, invisible monsters, kung-fu ravers, talking dogs solving crimes, teleporting stand-up comedians, cross dressing misogynists, magicians solving crimes and a whole bunch of other terrible ideas, most of which involve crimes being solved.

Welcome to Failure to Launch! The only TV podcast about shows that don't exist.