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It’s time to step back, loosen up and head on over to the Disco Lounge for some fun and frolic. Who knows how the night might end he he he?
First things first. Grab some nice khakis ….NO, NOT THOSE CHEAP DICKIES YOU BOUGHT AT WALMART! In the far right corner in the back end of the closet is a nice pair of Banana Republic your ex made you get for that job interview you never got. Then grab that Hugo Boss shirt he picked up from Barney’s Basement last year. I know you don’t like that shirt but trust. Any black belt with a silver buckle will suffice and how about those Kenneth Cole’s you never wear. Do they hurt? Honey fabulous IS pain even when it’s pieced together from differing price lines. So get over it and next time don’t buy shoes because they are the last pair at 50% off + an extra 20% off if they aren’t your size! Also, NO WHITE TUBE SOCKS! As long as they’re black you’ll be fine.
One last thing, drop the boxers and put on these new tidy whities from Calvin Klein I picked up for you from Marshalls. Let’s fix the hair, cut the nails and brush the teeth, and BING! You look like a million bucks just laying on the ground waiting for some hot number to come pluck your losing ass.
Take a cab to Peachtree and Hot Mess Blvd, tell Terry at the door I sent you and you’ll get right in. I know this is a seedy part of town but that’s what makes it more exciting. TRUST! Sit up at the bar and order a Cosmopolitan. Limit them to two and sip slowly unless you want to end up playing bitch to some 74-year-old ape wearing a toupee in the back of a ‘76 Cadillac you mistook for a Mercedes-Benz.
Got some serious grown-up music that’s gonna get you in the mood. From Disco and Funk to House and Soul, it’s time to put your worries behind you and let the music take control.