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It’s been a long and stressful three months since your last vacation and all you want to do is leave town and head to your favorite beach resort.  You’re thinking one week of sun, fun, beaches, cocktails and maybe even get yourself a nice little cabana boy for some late night action.  You arrive at your destination and the first thing you want to do is check-in to your hotel, throw your suitcases on the bed and grab your bikini, slip it on and then head out to the beach for some personal chill time.
As you lay there on the beach, the beautiful blue ocean suddenly turns black and something large is heading towards shore.  You can’t quite tell what it is, but it’s BIG.  You stand up to get a better look and in two minutes, a large oil covered whale beaches itself, only to die within the hour right at your feet.
Okay, maybe the beach thing was not the best idea.  So you head back to the hotel and decide the swimming pool will suffice.  You lay down on the deck, order a Pina Colada from the super hot Latin server (probably about 21 years old) and think to yourself, I ’ll have that for dessert later this evening.  You slip on your earbuds and scroll down to Party Favorz Beach House Edition v1 and press play.  As you begin to take in the rays and listen to the smooth Miami house music, you quickly fall asleep.  One hour later, you wake up only to find you’ve been asleep way too long.
In all the commotion from the beach incident, you forgot to put on sunscreen and your body has now been ravaged with excruciating red-hot pain.  You now spend the rest of the week covered in cream to soothe the blistering swells that have engulfed your body.  That hot waiter; well, he had to be put on a warmer plate until the next vacation.
You begin to realize that you’ve lost an entire week of much-...