I went through trauma

When my dad left and my mom got cancer and died 

I didn’t think anything of it at the time

But that all coincided with the timing of my now ex-husband cheating on me 

👉I have to accept what’s available because being with someone who doesn’t cheat… That’s not realistic.

➡️And you can’t trust your desires… your desire to have the love you crave, the desire to be in a relationship with someone you trust, 

😞I ran to stay fit

😞I ran to let out my anger, my pain, my resentment

😞Every day I woke up angry

😞It was burning inside me

But I made my bed 🛏

💍I married that man who cheated on me

🤷‍♀️I “forgave” (which really meant I just shut the fuck up about what I wanted)

😤And I burned with anger… because he kept neglecting me, he kept leaving me every night when I went to bed and he stayed up working, he kept me last on his list…

But his words, I love you, you are everything, I couldn’t live without you….

I clung to them like they were drops of water in the desert… And they WERE!

I was living without the love I was craving and setting for the facade of love cloaked with a house… a career… a marriage…. “security”  - everything that WASN’T the thing I wanted, the thing I needed

➡️I was desperate to hold it all together…

I reached a tipping point…

And all I did was open my hand…🤲

And all the ‘security’…

All of the grains of sand…

Gone…

And the last 6 months…

The pain came full on after quietly sitting inside my body for over 10 years…

I couldn’t sit…

I would avoid anything where I would have to sit…

I couldn’t drive without pain…😥😩

And yes I did physical therapy every single day…

There were sessions with my PT that I would just cry…

Every day I woke up in pain…

My therapy made it more painful…

And the pain in my legs made me address the cause…

🔹The emotions…

🔹The running I did to escape the trauma…

🔹FORGIVING MYSELF FOR ABANDONING MYSELF IN MY DARKEST HOUR...

🔹FOR TURNING MY BACK ON ME...

🔹FOR PUTTING ME INTO A MARRIAGE WHERE I DIDN’T 🔹TRUST THE MAN I WAS WITH…

🔹FOR SAYING TO MYSELF, ‘NO, YOU DON’T DESERVE MORE THAN THIS’

So yes, these last 6 months have been hard for me as fuck,

But I believe that because I paid attention to my emotional healing,

this pain was my saving grace from my body telling me through a stronger message like cancer

This message is for you.

👉You have been through pain

👉You have been through trauma

👉Maybe you thought it wasn’t that bad or that you handled it well…

But it’s coming up as

📌Depression

📌Anxiety

📌Energy drains

📌Heath issues

📌Divorce

📌Relationship problems following you through multiple relationships

📌Sabotage

And I’m not saying that just because you have one of the things I listed above, that there’s something you need to heal from, but what I am saying is your body is capable of sending you messages from your soul…

And your body is capable of healing itself…

And your sabotage may be connected to a message that you need to take care of something that’s not being addressed in your life…

Just sit and listen to your body…

Maybe all it needs is to KNOW you are finally listening so that it can start the healing.💜

Go DIRECT to my website:  http://nicholecarlson.com/

Link to my FREE Facebook Group, Flip the Switch: http://bit.ly/flipitgroup

Link to my FREE training, How to Manifest Your Soulmate Relationship → http://bit.ly/manifestma