Show notes
In this episode, I explore a fascinating idea about near and far enemies and how it links to leadership and the tendency for even the best leadership tips, tools and advice to accidentally get used in the wrong way. This episode dives deep into the deeper parts of ditching the drama that leaders may feel they are coaching well on moving people past the key sources of drama - lack of accountability, ego-based behaviors such as venting, resisting change and lack of alignment to decisions - but missing massive opportunities because they are labeling too soon behaviors from their team as simply "sources of drama". Understanding the near enemy or the patterns that look like drama, but may actually be real nuanced concerns coming from your team will allow you to take your leadership to the next level and continue to modernize how you lead. Episode Highlights: 00:01:16 – Setting up the topic: why good leadership advice can accidentally create bad leadership 00:01:33 – Introducing the Buddhist concept of "near and far enemies" 00:02:41 – Client call story: bringing up "structure" with a fast-scaling, innovation-driven team 00:04:22 – Near enemy example #1: empathy vs. sympathy 00:05:42 – Near enemy example #2: discipline vs. rigidity 00:06:56 – The Olympic athlete "no noise after 8pm" story 00:08:06 – Back to the client: renaming "structure" to get buy-in 00:08:58 – Connecting the pattern to Reality Based Leadership's four sources of drama 00:10:04 – Near enemy example #3: shutting down venting vs. shutting down real concerns 00:11:47 – Near enemy example #4: wholehearted buy-in vs. conditional buy-in 00:13:04 – Near enemy example #5: drama-free culture vs. drama-avoidant culture 00:14:16 – Near enemy example #6: accountability vs. overfunctioning/burnout 00:15:32 – How We Could book plug and Mel Robbins endorsement 00:17:30 – Real session story: a team member's "conditional buy-in" moment and the negative brainstorming tool 00:22:58 – Closing reflection: spotting your own near enemies over the next two weeks