Being A Better Man

It has been almost three whole months since I have released a new podcast. The last episode, number 234 went live on September 18th. Since then my life got a little crazy and I had some unfortunate technical challenges to overcome. During this three month Hiatus I have made a lot of observations, I have gained many insights, and I have continued on the path of being a better man than I was yesterday. I plan to share these insights with you in upcoming episodes. Today however, for my first episode back in a while we have a special guest who is going to share his personal story with us. This interview has been scheduled for about three months as well. In fact we sat down and recorded it one day several weeks ago and that was when I realized that my technology was not working…it didn’t record. Now thankfully, that issue is resolved and and I am finally able to share this inspiring interview with you.

This week I got a letter from a listener named Kyle. Kyle was wondering if I would talk about something specific, that being; overcoming failure in your life. The kind of failure Kyle was talking about is the same kind of failure each of us have experienced in one way or another. I’m not talking about big things like failing to pass the bar exam or failing to become a millionaire by the time you are 30. No, I’m talking about those little everyday failures. The kinds of things that make you feel regret about who you are and what kind of man you are being.

I have said before on this show that I continue to learn from my father, he continues to be my mentor and my example of what manhood is. Now, being in the presence of these two brothers during this experience has made that statement even more true. At 55 years old I still have so much to learn from my elders. Regardless of your age or your station in life don’t forget that. You still have much to learn. We all still have so much to learn and the ones to teach us are those who have already gone through it. So I encourage everyone to seek out the wisdom of men older than you. Wether they are family, a neighbor, or someone you meet on the street—take the time to hear them. Take advantage of their stories and experience and put it to work in your own life. Utilizing the experience, wisdom, and knowledge of men older than you is a very effective human strategy, it has been working since our species began. It’s also another tool to use while you are being a better man today than you were yesterday.

Today I will be making a very pointed observation about something going on right now. If it offends you, you are free to never listen to me again. If it offends you, then you are obviously not aligned with the message this podcast offers. I would add that if you are offended by today’s podcast to at least also give yourself the benefit of hearing me out.

I spent several years of my life with no adventures. I was too involved in the rat race. I was too busy working to take the time to explore and discover. Looking back I think that was a mistake. For the rest of my life I’m going to try and have at least one adventure every year…maybe even more.

This can be a touchy, emotionally charged topic, but it’s also a fact of modern life and I feel like I need to talk about it a little bit. This is something I have dealt with personally in my life. Many, many men I know have also dealt with it. My own son is still dealing with it right now and I just got a letter from a long time listener named Tom where he told me about the struggles he is going through regarding access to his children. It’s a real thing, a heart wrenching thing, and as men we really need to think about from every angle.

Granted, there are many people who suffer the consequences of their own actions for years and never pull out of it. They numb their pain with drugs or alcohol as their life slowly circles the drain and they feel like a victim the entire time. However, at the same time, there are other people who realize that every bad thing that ever happened to them is their fault. They decide they want to live and live well, they start making choices that will effect that outcome. They surround themselves with people that will be good examples, they abandon people and behavior that have been pulling them down.

This post was inspired by my friend and fellow podcaster; Wally Carmichael, who host's "Men Of Abundance." I saw a post he made about leadership that I really liked and I decided to expound upon it a bit and give it some of my own spin. This should give you something to chew on for a couple days, and I encourage everyone to give Wally's show a listen.

I like to imagine that the vast majority of my listeners do not do this. There may be a few of you who do though, maybe that’s the example you got when you were growing up? Maybe that is just the culture you live in and no one ever really told you it was wrong. That is not a valid excuse, but either way I’m telling you right now that there is another, better way to be.

If I know that I am the sum total of the five people I spend the most time with, then I am going to be very discriminating about who those five people are. I will judge the people who come into my life to determine if they are aligned with my world view. Is there anything I can learn from them? Do they have experience or knowledge that I seek? I will judge wether or not they will be a liability to my objectives, or if they will be an asset. At the same time I expect those people are judging me by the same criteria. If there is a group of people I want to be a part of then I need to bring some sort of value to that group. If my presence doesn’t elevate the sum total of that group in some way—then why would I expect they would want me around?