PART III

And so remarkable were its effects upon her, especially in restoring her for the time to the ordinary human gravity, that Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck agreed in recommending the king to bury her alive for three years; in the hope that, as the water did her so much good, the earth would do her yet more. But the king had some vulgar prejudices against the experiment, and would not give his consent. Foiled in this, they yet agreed in another recommendation; which, seeing that one imported his opinions from China and the other from Thibet, was very remarkable indeed. They argued that, if water of external origin and application could be so efficacious, water from a deeper source might work a perfect cure; in short, that if the poor afflicted princess could by any means be made to cry, she might recover her lost gravity.

But how was this to be brought about? Therein lay all the difficulty—to meet which the philosophers were not wise enough. To make the princess cry was as impossible as to make her weigh. They sent for a professional beggar; commanded him to prepare his most touching oracle of woe; helped him out of the court charade box, to whatever he wanted for dressing up, and promised great rewards in the event of his success. But it was all in vain. She listened to the mendicant artist's story, and gazed at his marvellous make up, till she could contain herself no longer, and went into the most undignified contortions for relief, shrieking, positively screeching with laughter.

When she had a little recovered herself, she ordered her attendants to drive him away, and not give him a single copper; whereupon his look of mortified discomfiture wrought her punishment and his revenge, for it sent her into violent hysterics, from which she was with difficulty recovered.

But so anxious was the king that the suggestion should have a fair trial, that he put himself in a rage one day, and, rushing up to her room, gave her an awful whipping. Yet not a tear would flow. She looked grave, and her laughing sounded uncommonly like screaming—that was all. The good old tyrant, though he put on his best gold spectacles to look, could not discover the smallest cloud in the serene blue of her eyes.

第3节

水对公主的作用实在是太引人注意了，特别是她泡在水里时就恢复了正常人的重力这一点，令哈鼓鼓和扣咳咳一致上书给国王，建议可以把公主埋在地里三年试一试——既然水能让她的情况好转，那么也可以寄希望于泥土，或许能收到更好的效果。但是，国王对这种试验已经有些成见了，不同意这样做，于是这个提议被否决了。他们又不遗余力地给出其他的建议：一个从儒家引入他的观点，而另一个则从藏传密宗找来解释，都是相当不同寻常的。他们经过讨论，认为如果源于外部作用的水可以如此有效，那么来自身体内部的水就会有更好的疗效。一句话，就是只要备受折磨的可怜公主不管怎么样被弄哭了，就能找回她失去的重力。

但是怎么才能让公主哭呢？这个问题首当其冲。这些大学问家啊，有时候也不够聪明。要知道，让公主哭和让她有重量一样难。他们找来一个职业乞丐，把他从监狱里放出来，给他准备必要的装束打扮，要他准备一番最能打动别人的说辞，并且向他许诺事成之后必有重赏。但是一切努力都化为了泡影。公主听到这个乞丐的叙述，盯着他那可怜巴巴的打扮看了看，最后她实在是受不了了，为了放松心情，不得不发出一种最肆无忌惮的尖叫，大声地、完全放纵的笑声。

当她好了一点点之后，国王下令让随从把乞丐赶走，连一个铜板都没有给。乞丐那副可怜巴巴的样子实在是虐待她的眼睛，这让她觉得很不舒服，有些想打人的冲动。

心急如焚的国王希望用其他试验来证明这个建议确有效果。有一天他索性大发雷霆，冲进公主的房间，狠狠地用鞭子抽了她一顿。然而公主还是没有落下一滴眼泪来。她看上去神色凝重，但还是发出像尖叫一般的笑声，仅此而已。尽管伪装发怒的国王用最细致的目光反复打量，也没有在公主蔚蓝色的眼睛里找到哪怕是最小的一片浮云。