PART II

Seeing nothing but talk could be got out of her, he rang the bell, and sent her away with two of her ladies-in-waiting.

"Now, queen," he said, turning to her Majesty, "what IS to be done?"

"There is but one thing left," answered she. "Let us consult the college of Metaphysicians."

"Bravo!" cried the king; "we will."

Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese philosophers-by name Hum-Drum, and Kopy-Keck. For them the king sent; and straightway they came. In a long speech he communicated to them what they knew very well already—as who did not?—namely, the peculiar condition of his daughter in relation to the globe on which she dwelt; and requested them to consult together as to what might be the cause and probable cure of her INFIRMITY. The king laid stress upon the word, but failed to discover his own pun. The queen laughed; but Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck heard with humility and retired in silence.

The consultation consisted chiefly in propounding and supporting, for the thousandth time, each his favourite theories. For the condition of the princess afforded delightful scope for the discussion of every question arising from the division of thought-in fact, of all the Metaphysics of the Chinese Empire. But it is only justice to say that they did not altogether neglect the discussion of the practical question, what was to be done.

Hum-Drum was a Materialist, and Kopy-Keck was a Spiritualist. The former was slow and sententious; the latter was quick and flighty: the latter had generally the first word; the former the last.

"I reassert my former assertion," began Kopy-Keck, with a plunge. "There is not a fault in the princess, body or soul; only they are wrong put together. Listen to me now, Hum-Drum, and I will tell you in brief what I think. Don't speak. Don't answer me. I won't hear you till I have done.— At that decisive moment, when souls seek their appointed habitations, two eager souls met, struck, rebounded, lost their way, and arrived each at the wrong place. The soul of the princess was one of those, and she went far astray. She does not belong by rights to this world at all, but to some other planet, probably Mercury. Her proclivity to her true sphere destroys all the natural influence which this orb would otherwise possess over her corporeal frame. She cares for nothing here. There is no relation between her and this world.

"She must therefore be taught, by the sternest compulsion, to take an interest in the earth as the earth. She must study every department of its history—

its animal history;

its vegetable history;

its mineral history;

its social history;

its moral history;

its political history,

 its scientific history;

its literary history;

its musical history;

its artistical history;

above all, its metaphysical history.

第2节

看到再也不能从她那儿问出来什么结果了，国王摇了摇铃铛，叫来两个侍女把公主带了下去。

“好吧，王后，”他转身回来对王后说道，

“我们现在该怎么办？”

“我看我们只有一件事情可以做了，”她回答道，“去问问玄学院。”

“绝妙的主意！”国王喊道，“我们这就去！”

此时在学院里管事的是两个聪慧过人的中国大学问家，一个叫哈鼓鼓，另一个叫扣咳咳。国王叫人把他们请来，他们立刻就赶到了。国王花了很长时间让他们了解他们已经很清楚的情况。有谁会不知道呢？换句话说，就是他宝贝女儿与所在的地球之间的特殊状况。国王要他们两个一起商量，尽快找出公主这种“虚弱”的原因以及可能的治愈办法。国王讲到“虚弱”这个词的时候用重音以示强调，王后忍不住笑了，哈鼓鼓和扣咳咳谦卑恭敬地站在下面低头不语。

讨论的过程主要是提出问题和佐证，一遍又一遍罗列各家各派的学说观点。公主的情形可以说为各个学说——确切地说，是所有来自东方古国玄学的各种问题提供了一个很好的讨论平台。但他们倒也没有忽略那个最切合实际的问题，就是到底该怎么办。

哈鼓鼓是一个唯物主义者，而扣咳咳是一个唯心主义者。前者凝重而过于认真，后者敏捷而略显轻浮；后者常常说出第一句话，前者往往是说最后一句话。

“我再次重申先前的观点，”扣咳咳突然发话了，“公主没有什么问题，无论肉体还是灵魂，它们只是被错误地放到了一起。现在听我说，哈鼓鼓，我要用几句话来告诉你我是怎么想的。别说话，别 回答我，在我说完以前，你说什么我都听不见。在那个决定性的时刻，当灵魂找寻它们指定的居所，两个渴求的灵魂相遇了，接触、碰撞、迷失，最后各自到达了错误的位置。公主的灵魂就是其中一个，而且还误入歧途得很远。她根本就不属于这个世界，而是属于别的什么星球的，或许是水星。她与那个星球之间的牵引力，摧毁了这个星球对她身体的吸引和支配。她不关这里的任何事。她和这个世界根本就没有关系。”

“必须要教育她，好好地教育，让她对地球产生兴趣。她必须学习地球上的各个历史学科——动物史、植物史、矿物史、社会史、伦理史、政治史、科学史、文学史、音乐史、艺术史，最重要的是玄学史。