] There has been broken trust in Jeremy's life but nothing that he considers horrific. He has seen it with family and friends though.  [03:45] There are certain laws and principles of life that help us understand how to live.  [05:00] Step back and do a personal inventory. It's possible that the issue has grown bigger than it should have. Begin to identify the areas of hurt. Rage and unforgiveness is a process that grows.  [06:46] How I don't care is a protection mechanism, because if you don't care about something it can't hurt you.   [07:39] Absence can build walls. Then you start thinking about something that happened and ruminating about it and it becomes worse.  [08:29] When you escalate things in your mind, you start believing things that aren’t true.   [09:26] You can't really trust your own judgment when you are hurting. You can't trust your own emotions when it comes to forgiveness.  [11:46] A lot of people struggle with unforgiveness, because they try to find the strength within themselves.  [12:11] If you have the humility you can learn from anybody. If you are a Christ follower, you can get strength from Jesus.  [12:58] Find some people in your life that will talk honestly with you and come from a balanced perspective.  [13:36] Try to listen to people who actually want you to get better.  [18:25] Choose how and where you're going to spend your energy. Don't waste it on holding a grudge or trying to get revenge.   [18:42] Spend yourself on releasing. Which is for you. Reconciling which makes things okay but maybe still little delicate. Restoration is where things are whole, and you trust each other again.  [20:53] Preempting best practices like not being easily offended. Understand that conflict is part of life.  [21:45] Understand the level of trust that has been broken. We want to know that we are safe and that we can trust the people we are with.  [23:03] Being easily offended comes down to being vulnerable.  [24:25] Put your hands out in front of you with your palms up and make the tightest fist you can. Hold that fist, then slowly release it. When I walk with clenched fists I miss opportunities for growth and opportunities to hang onto something else.  [27:07] Lean into the pure love of God, and you will receive what you really need. This will lead to a less stressed life and less regrets.  [29:54] Lightning round. Find out how Jeremy really feels about life, science fiction, comfort, strange food choices, road trips, and more.  What? Your pastor isn’t a Hype Man for a middle aged white woman rapping…  If you haven't met Mama Bear, check her out here with JY in this hilarious parody featuring your very own Melissa Radke and Jeremy Yancey.   Can't get enough?  We went back and did FOUR more follow ups to that first video, and at least three of them, you don't want to miss!  Click the link to get all five in your inbox!  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. [bctt tweet="'How we deal with forgiveness has to do with the kind of wound we are dealing with.' -Jeremy Yancey " username="msmelissaradke"] Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page  Facebook Page  @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram  @msmelissaradke on Twitter  This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) 20% Discount Code: Ordinary  Timber Creek Church  Mama Bear Parody with Melissa and Jeremy  Get all five videos in your inbox  The “F” Word Part One  Brene Brown