Happy Candlenights, everybody! This year's curse-free Candlenights spectacular isn't a live show, but it's pretty merry all the same. Please enjoy what turned out to be an in-depth teardown of the supernatural being known as Santa Clause, which -- DANG IT. We can't NOT spell it that way.

Suggested talking points: Stuck Santa, Wrapping Preservation, Fashion Santa, Hallmark Madness, Star King, Rudolph's Vindication, Toys for Dogs and Babies