Absolute Worst Podcast
Absolute Worst Podcast
Dana Powell & Alison Royer
Each week on The Absolute Worst Podcast, Dana Powell (Successful Comedian/Actor/Writer, Adequate Mom) and Alison Royer (Fledgling Comedian/Actor/Writer, Terrible Wife) seek and give free therapy by telling you their problems, asking you to tell them your problems, and then they just pray to God that any of it works out. They're basically the opposite of Oprah.
Goodbye AWP!
Hello AWP Interns! This is just a quick announcement to let you all know that we've decided to bring this podcast to a close. We love you and are so grateful that you have helped us make this podcast the amazing thing that it is. We hope that you will stay in touch with each other in the AWP Interns Facebook group and that you'll join us when we embark on new projects. Our podcast will be up until June 1, so if you want to keep any episodes, download them before that time! Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!
Jan 12, 2019
1 min
**Holiday Hiatus Announcement**
Happy Holidays!! We are taking a brief hiatus, but we wanted to wish you all the best, and we hope everyone continues being 'the worst'. We love you and couldn't be more grateful for all of your support. Don't be a d*ck this holiday season!!! Xoxo, DP, Royer, & Sarah the Intern
Dec 8, 2018
1 min
Episode 82: Nat Strawn
Our guest this week is Nat Strawn. You may remember her as Alison’s mean, Pakistani Pilates Teacher. Nat is also a very funny comedian and social media goddess. You can check her out here, here, here, and here. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Nat helps us answer some listener questions and we begin by helping a woman who wants what she can’t have. We also try to set boundaries in an apartment dwelling and then try to convince another listener to go to a wedding. We end this episode with some of Nat’s Absolute Yoursts which results in Alison and Dana offering her a plethora of clearly needed therapy. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Dec 1, 2018
1 hr 16 min
Episode 81: A Cauldron of Crazy
As usual, we’re off to a rocky start. After a harrowing beginning, we hear from a listener who’s crying through her homework, but she claims this is a good thing. We also hear back from the woman whose show we fixed via dialect coaching. She tells us all about her show in NY and you can learn more about her at her website: www.therachelstern.com. We also fan-girl over a woman who fan-girled over Tim Gunn and one of our listeners gives Alison a tip for cheaper pregnancy tests. We end the feedback section by discussing Alison’s enormous boobs. During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we help a woman to GET OUT!!! And then we teach another woman that money is stupid. We end Episode 81 with an Absolute Yourst that reminds us to hate authority. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Nov 24, 2018
59 min
Episode 80: The Angel & The Devil
Alison begins Episode 80 by begging Dana to go to couple’s counseling. We also discuss baby shower etiquette and financial resentment. The Absolute Worst Feedback section begins with a podcast suggestion for Dana and this reminds Dana that her life is falling apart. We also hear back from the woman who was nervous about vacationing with her estranged father’s immediate family and turns out, she didn’t get murdered!!! We then hear from another woman with an absentee father and realize that we’re all in this together. In response to the Canadian Milkbag woman’s doping scandal, we meet a Las Vegas librarian who shares a drug information portal from The National Library of Medicine. Type any drug into the portal to see a list of side effects, why the drug is prescribed, etc. https://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/. We end the feedback section with a beautiful email from a woman who may have found love again…with her husband. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a woman who is real dumb (HER WORDS!). We also meet a hermit who is trying to spice up her life. We end this episode with an epic Absolute Yourst that involves a U-Haul, a lawsuit, and a marriage! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Nov 17, 2018
1 hr 8 min
Episode 79: Follow Your Dreams?
We start Episode 79 by discussing babies, AWP merchandise and the new network that our podcast is a part of, Utter Clarity. We then jump over to the feedback section to get some more information about CBD oil and then Dana gets complimented on her birdcall. We also hear back from a woman regarding her mommy issues and another woman confirms that the name Weenie is pretty common. We end the feedback section by discussing our favorite topic — foreskins. Our first question is from a woman who is trying to navigate three relationships with three baby-daddies and while trying to offer a solution, Dana and Alison almost get divorced. We also try to determine whether or not unicorns are real. We end this episode by re-visiting Dana’s homeland, The Deep South. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Nov 10, 2018
1 hr 8 min
Episode 78: Finding Our Families & Avoiding Politics
In Episode 78, several listeners beg us to share our thoughts on the current political climate — no. After we get that bullshit out of the way, we’re able to turn our attention to the bigger world topics like why it’s important to use Monistat chafing gel as a makeup primer and whether or not work slippers are appropriate. We also meet yet another listener who is reconnecting with previously unknown family members. We also meet a CysterSister and Alison once again attempts to start a dating site. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a woman who is grappling with meeting her biological father for the first time. AND WE MAYBE CHANGE DANA’S MIND THIS TIME! Afterwards we meet a miserable attorney whose life we potentially make worse. We end Episode 78 with an Absolute Yourst that brings the house down…or at least the sink. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Nov 3, 2018
1 hr
Episode 77: The Return Of Big Pee Pee
Episode 77 is entirely dedicated to feedback we received in response to Episode 65: Anxiety, Depression and a Buttwiper. We begin with an email from a woman who just wants to connect. We also hear back from our new favorite Missouri listener, a woman who was struggling with anxiety and also, BIG PEE PEE!!! We get a lot of helpful resources in Episode 77 which I’ve listed below: If you are struggling with your weight, please follow Ryan Woodall on Facebook or follow the hashtag #woodallweightlosssolutions. Self Determination Theory: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory. For Veteran’s with PTSD: kelly@lonesurvivorfoundation.org Accelerated Resolution Therapy: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/ Enneagram: “The Wisdom of the Enneagram” can be found at https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique: Learn more at http://www.nickortner.com/ Podcast: Jen Gotch Is Okay Sometimes. Episode: How to feel better right now. FB group Grown and Flown Parents, a community for parents of 15-25 year olds. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Oct 26, 2018
1 hr 16 min
Episode 76: Ayden Mayeri
Our guest this week is Ayden Mayeri! You may recognize Ayden from New Girl, Workaholics, or Life in Pieces. Starting on November 2nd, you can watch her in Amazon’s Homecoming alongside Julia Roberts. In Episode 76 we discuss getting through college, marriage counseling and EMDR. During the Absolute Worst Therapy segment, Ayden helps our listeners lose weight for their weddings. She also helps us try to determine if our sexual partners are taking pictures of us and if it’s appropriate to live like a gypsy. We end with an Absolute Yourst that makes us not want to travel with Ayden in the future. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Oct 20, 2018
1 hr 4 min
Episode 75: I Literally Do
Dana is now a professional singer and Alison records this episode from deep REM sleep. As usual, WE GOT PRESENTS — this time in the form of candles. Please check out Burned Candles on Instagram @burned_candles or check out the Etsy Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/burnedcandlesco. Alison is in a dark place so we kick Episode 75 off with “Just Some Love” from an amazing AWP listener. We also hear from one of our Interns who points out that a massage parlor is impersonating us and we meet a woman who found her AWP soulmate on the subway. In response to Episode 39, a listener confirms that affairs are overrated. We kick off the Absolute Worst Therapy section with some Random Therapy Questions that demand answers. We also try to navigate how to deal with family judgment when wanting to remain childless and figuring out how to keep the peace with our in-laws, even when they act like fucking lunatics. We end Episode 75 with some wedding Yoursts and also a very special treat!!! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.  In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/
Oct 13, 2018
53 min
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