<div>In which the bountiful gifts of American advice columnists include a now-ubiquitious happy afterlife for pets, and John might lose a swordfight because he's too heavy for a chandelier. Certificate #29810.</div>

Kilroy Was Here (Entry 687.EZ0810)

Every week, Ken Jennings and John Roderick add a new entry to the OMNIBUS, an encyclopedic reference work of strange-but-true stories that they are compiling as a time capsule for future generations.